The past is the past.
I will think about tomorrow tomorrow.
All that is important is that I stay present in this moment.
With that said, I am praying that God gives me the dream that he has always had planned for me. Most of my life, I have chased after fantasies. Delusions of Grandeur. For the first time I can remember, I asked God to show me a dream that he has planned for me.
After being in a depression for over a decade, it is foreign territory for me to embrace life. Thoughts of suicide. Imploring God to let me die. Being angry at God that he would not answer my prayers to seize to exist. Actually I stand corrected. God answered my prayer. Just NOT the way I wanted Him too.
God has a reason for me on this earth. My focus needs to be to sit and patiently wait for God to answer my prayer for the dream He has planned for me. There are ONLY two things I need to do. 1) Love God. 2) Love Others.
Love is patient.
Patiently I wait on the Lord!
