Driving Down Memory Lane

Although John Thomas was drivng up on Highway 5, it was like driving down memory lane for Donnie.  You see, the newest version of the Fantastic Four had to to depart from Hwy 5 North to travel on Hwy 605 North to meet Greg at the Renaissance Fair in Irwandale.  When they departed from the fair, instead of back tracking, they moved forward by connecting to the HWY 210.

The first memory for Donnie was that they would not be going through Hollywood.  John Thomas knew how painful it was for Donnie to have to relive all the broken dreams that never came to fruition.  His latest failure was producing the screenplay, The First Man of the White House.  Not only did he fail to produce this comedy in 2008, the tragedy was that Donnie was unable to find backers for 2012 either.  JT deliberately rerouted the trip via Hwy 210 instead.

As JT, Donnie, Clyde and Baby were travelling on Hwy 210, they saw an exit sign for Pasadena.  What wonderful memories of living and attending Fuller Theological Seminary.  Donnie wondered if they should turn off and try to live in Pasadena again.  John Thomas assured Donnie that when he was old enough, they would reconsider his finishing his masters degree.  For the time being, JT had a better idea in store.

Driving through Glendale brought up more wonderful memories.  Donnie borrowed John Thomas's cell phone and called his life long friend Patti Jacobs Moreno.  Patti has worked at Univeral Studios in the sound editing for over 25 years.  She is even on the Oscar selection committee for two of the sound awards.  Donnie is so proud of Patti.

A sign for Hwy 101 brought up wonderful memories of working at Sportsmen's Lodge.  Donnie and Tim Page became friends by having both worked at that famous valley restaurant.  So many years ago.  Tim has been the president and founder of Total Involvement Ministries for over 23 years now since that time.

The memories of La Canada and Gar Ezell, the memories of Magic Mountain and family vacations there, so many memories along Hwy 5.  The further we drove, the further in the past we went.  When we reached Sacramento, Donnie was filled with memories of his being stationed at McClellan Air Force Base.  If Donnie could start out life over again, he would have made a careeer serving in the United States Air Force as a Chaplain.  Maybe if there is reincarnation, that is exactly what Donnie will do.

There is a major fork in the road, one way goes to San Francisco and the other goes to Sacramento.  John Thomas made no hesitation at all.  He would protect Donnie from the confusion that he had got tangled with in the past and free him from the perversion that thrives in that city.  Although they were not going to San Fran, they were not going to Sacramento either.

With the "liitle yellow light" flashing off and on and now, the red brake light was on, Donnie wondered where JT was taking them.  JT told Donnie not to worry so much and go to sleep.  "No, Donnie, Go back to dreaming instead."

With Baby now sitting in the front sit, there was plenty of room for Donnie to cuddle up next to the window with Clyde in his tank by his side.  No more fighting, no more bickering, no more sqwauking between the three of them.  It was easy for Donnie to dream.

John Thomas had a plan.  A new beginning and a new life.  He could hardly wait to see the expressions on their faces when they reached their new home.  No more homelessness.  No more joblessness.

Donnie tries to live at the Renaissance Faire

John Thomas packed up the car with Donnie, Baby and Clyde.

The doors at the Battle of the Dance are closed.

There may be a window of opportunity with Senior Andreas and Greg Hopla in the future.  For the time being, it is best if they focus on meeting with Greg at the Renaissance Faire!

The adventure continues, and off they go to the Ren Faire in Irwandale, California.  In less than an hour, the 1996 Buick Century packed with people, a dragon, a bird and "stuff" arrive inspite of the "little yellow light" that was on the entire trip.  Sometimes the red brake warning light flashes off an on.

Greg, the knights, the squires and the horses live at the Renaissance Faire for the seven weeks.

"Can we live here with them, JT?"  Donnie pleads.

"No, only those who work at the Ren Faire can stay here."

"Can we get a job here, JT?"  Donnie asks as we are in need of a home and a job.

"No Donnie, there is not enough work here for us."

Donnie Goes to Hollywood

NOT!

Frankie Goes to Hollywood but Donnie does NOT.

Donnie Tries to Live at Disneyland

Being homeless and jobless has very interesting challenges that differ from normal life.  How do you apply for a job when you do not have an address?  How do you find a place to live when you do not have a job?  How do you take the car in to the mechanics when you do not have money?  The Buick Century has been "old reliable" and has been able to get JT, Donnie, Baby and Clyde to California.  The car is still running but the service engine light is on.  One of the only things that they miss about Illinois is that Norm's service department at Fair Oaks Ford is no longer assessible to them.

As you know, all of this is overwhelming for Donnie.  The good news is that Donnie no longer only sleeps.  John Thomas has convinced Donnie to only dream.  JT sings, "When you wish upon a star, makes no difference who you are...".  Before he could even start counting sheep, Little Donnie no longer falls fast asleep.  Donnie dreams.

Yesterday, Donnie's dream came true.  Where is the happiest place in the world?  I believe the right answer is suppose to be heaven.  Since Donnie lives on earth, he was thrilled to find himself at the happiest place on earth.  Disneyland. 

John Thomas had text Shawna early in the morning.  He had not been able to get hold of Greg Hopla.  Linda, Shawna, Greg and JT had not been able to meet for dinner.  Greg and Senior Andreas's lunch appointment went from noon until almost 9:00 pm.  Needless to say(write), John Thomas was unable to have his meeting with the owner of the Battle of the Dance.  After a series of texts, John Thomas found that Donnie and he were going to be going to Disneyland with Greg, Shawna, Dakota and the team from Tournament of Champions.  The best news is that they were able to get free tickets.  Sometimes not having a job has it's benefits.  Who can just take off on a Tuesday to go to Disneyland.

John Thomas and Donnie met the Hoplas and crew at 8:15am.  How many people are able to walk to Disneyland?  John Thomas and Donnie did.  Since Linda and Leland had been kind enough to let them stay for three nights in a row, they found themselves instead of being between a rock and a hard place; they found themselves on Harbor Blvd. in between BOTD and Disney.

Donnie was not sure if he was awake or dreaming.  The very first Disney character to greet them was Donnie's favorite.  Jiminy Cricket.  Yes, there on the recycle garbage can was that cute little cricket asking everyone to throw away any containers of liquid before entering the park.  John Thomas took a few extra minutes drinking as much of his Green Tea with Ginseng as he could.  Donnie does not like that drink.  He had finished his V-8 juice earlier.  JT had made sure Donnie have breakfast including Quaker Oats Granola cereal with milk and a banana.

Do you have 16 hours to spare?  Neither do I.  Let me just tell you what a wonderful time that was had in Anaheim, California.  Donnie had SO much fun that he did not even realize that he had missed the only television show that he likes to watch in a week.  GLEE.  The irony is Donnie was filled with GLEE from morning, noon, to midnight.  Like Cinderella, Donnie had to be home before midnight.  Actually, that is not true.  Disneyland closes at midnight.  Everyone has to leave.

"Can we live here?"  Donnie begs.

"No Donnie, we can not live here.  No one can."  John Thomas consoles Donnie.  "Besides, Baby and Clyde are at home, I mean, in the car alone.  They will be wondering where we have been all day."

"Next time, we should be bring them with us, JT!"  Donnie exclaims with a smile.  He was happy that he had problem solved the situation all by himself.

John Thomas smiled.  JT picked up Donnie, gave him a big, huge, long hug and carried him back to the car.  Safe in his arms, Donnie dreams.

Loving Being Back in California

"I have been crucified in Christ, it is no longer I who lives but Christ who lives in me."

What a beautiful day here in sunny California.  I feel like a new creation.  Maybe all this stuff about Easter is true.  Although I am homeless and jobless, there is a wonderful peace that passeth all understanding.  Maybe because it is the first time that I REALLY have trusted God.  Maybe because it the first time that I have had to trust in God.  Either way, I am very happy.

Yesterday, Linda and I went to the Rennaissance Fair.  Greg and Shawna Hopla are the owners of The Tournament of Champions.  This is the first time we had all been together in over 15 years.  Dakota was only six years old when I went on a one month vacation across the country.  Now I had driven across the country with Donnie, Clyde and Baby and with guest riders Bill and Wayne to meet them in Irwindale, California.  Seeing Dakota fight as a knight with his father was extra special.  Linda and I had so much fun catching up with the Hopla family.  We spent a lot of time shopping and yes, we had to have one of those legendary barbeque Turkey Legs.  Linda had a couple bites of my pickle too.

Today my day started out at 6:00 am as I started to text those in Chicago.  My sister Linda asked me what my plans were for the day.  I told her among many things that I also had a three point plan for the Batle of the Dance.  As Pepe Sans is gone for the next two months, first I want to ask Sr. Andreas to train me to be the General Manager.  If that delusion of granduer fails, I will ask for my Director of Operations position back.  If they can not afford to pay for a management position, I hope they allow me to be a server for tips.  Since I have not job at present, I feel it would be a good idea to start off where I left off.  My prayer is God's will to be done. 

When God (or BOTD) closes a door, look for a window.  Don't stand in door, look for a window.

My heart soared with JOY as I reconnected with Mick, the cleaning crew, Warren, Daniel, Lucy, Felix and a ton of other friends/employees.  Senior Andreas was very conversational and was genuinely happy to see me.  Hopefully that is a good sign.  I asked him if we could get together and discuss things and he was very open to our meeting.  Monday is not a good day to try to meet with an owner so I may need to wait until Tuesday or Wednesday.  The good news is that we will be talking.

Lunch with Melody was delightful.  Leland Burbank and I had a wonderful conversation.  Linda and I were basking in the love of reconnecting with the Hoplas.  We are trying to meet for dinner this evening.

With all said and written, this was not the hightlight of the day.  Sometimes, you can be touched by an Angel.  This can be life changing.  However, to be touched by the Divine through nature is monumental and Awesome.  First, Linda invited Baby to live on the veranda instead of being homeless and living in my car.  Baby was out of her cage as I relocated her home on this special world created by Linda filled with cozy furniture, wind chimes and breath taking plants.  As we were settling in, a morning dove flew past Baby.  Startled, Baby flew to the roof also.  Immediately, Baby flew back to my shoulder.  This did not surprise me.  What did was that this precious dove, a reminder of my Grandma Zoch flew back to the veranda also.

Moments later, a humingbird flew by me like Tinkerbell.  Visited the feeder.  Flew back and observed Baby sitting on my shoulder.  As I reached my finger out to this emerald and ruby metalic bird, instead of flying away like a UFO, you would not believe my amazement when this hummingbird lighted on my finger.  A touch of the Divine through nature.

Sometimes life can get no better than the moment you are in.  That is, until another moment happens.  The most beautiful black and yellow butterfly floated by the veranda.  God wanted to remind me, John Thomas, that I truly am a new creation in Christ.

I am left to wonder, ponder and contemplate as to whether I really should legally change my name?

HAPPY EASTER

He is Risen!  He is Risen!  We serve a living Lord and Savior.  His name is Jesus Christ!

For the first time in my life, I REALLY believe that Jesus Christ lives inside me.

Yesterday, I woke up in Gallup, New Mexico.  I asked God to lead my path as I drove across the country.  My original intention was to visit my cousin in Phoenix.  As I am about to get on Highway 40 west, there is a man hitch hiking on the side of the road.  Donnie starts to panic when I mentioned that we should pick the old man up and give him a ride.

"Donnie, I think Jesus would want us to give that man a ride!"  I said.

"I am going to hide in the back seat with Baby and Clyde!  Please do not tell him that I am here!"  Donnie pleads.

"I promise, Donnie.  Now go back to sleep."

It turns out that this retired old man named Bill had waited five days to get a ride.  Immediately, I felt the presence of God in my heart.  We had done the right thing.  God was leading my path.  It became even more evident that I was being directed by God when we came to the fork in the road.  Bill was going to Needles, California.  My cousin Bill lives in Phoenix, Arizona.  Instead of going west, I would need to go north on Highway 17.  My simple prayer was that God's will would be for me to go north if I heard from Bill.  If not, I was going to continue going west on HWY 40.  Long story short, no call from Bill.  Ten other people contacted me but not one of them was Bill.  Donnie wanted to go to Phoenix.  God wanted or I percieved Him to want me to go west.  How could I drop this guy off in Flagstaff, not knowing if he would have to wait another five days for a ride.  Donnie said we could pick him up on the way back from Phoenix.  I said, "No dice."

Bill was elated when I dropped him off at the front door of his shelter in Needles.  As we parted ways, Donnie waved Good bye too.  He had remained quiet the entire time.  Baby had not.  She sqwauked for hours upset that Donnie was taking up too much room.  Clyde's tank as it was took 2/3 of the back seat.  As far as she was concerned, "It was not fair!"  Baby was not buying the line, "Life is not fair!"

I was not happy to see that the gas in Arizona was one dollar less than it was in Needles, California.  There is no way I am paying $4.89 per gallon.  I am going back to Arizona.  I got lost and was back on Highway 40 with an empty tank of gas.  When I got on the ramp, I saw another old man looking for a ride.  Donnie was not happy as he had moved back up to the front seat. 

"He has too much stuff.  There is no room for him and his stuff."  Donnie complained.

"And you should talk!" I snickered.

We passed the old man and I saw the next gas station was 68 miles away in Ludlow.  There is no way we would make it with an empty tank of gas.  I have made this trip before and prayed like never before running on fumes.  Making an illegal u-turn.  "Sorry, God!" we were headed back to Needles. 

"I guess you really want me to pick up that old man!"  I "LOL" with God.

After filling up, as expected, the old man was still there.  "God's taxi" I laughed with God.

Wayne is a real American Indian from the Pueblo Tribe.  I could write a book about his life.  Never realized what a racist I was in regards to Indians.  Most of the info I have is from Westerns.  History books are full of lies.  Hitler used propaganda.  So did we.  The trip was absolutely enlightening!

Wayne was going to Long Beach.  Donnie wanted to go to Anaheim.  Sue was waiting for us in Hollywood.  I decided to take Wayne to Long Beach.  Wayne insisted on buying me dinner.  I took him to his McDonalds.  Wayne schooled me how to survive being homeless.  Here I thought God had sent me to him.  Instead God had sent an Angel named Wayne to watch over me.  What is that verse about "There were Angels Amongst Us?"

Wayne had touched my heart.  I was crying Tears of Joy!  Even homeless and jobless, my life is SO blessed in comparison to others.  My prayer was that I would learn to never complain again.

Do you know what I did?  Of course you do.  Where do I feel closest to God?  Yes, minutes after departing from Wayne, I was walking along the beach next to the ocean talking to God.  Sue had invited me to join her and her three girls in Hollywood so I was not homeless.  However, I decided to spend the night on Long Beach basking in the love of God working through me, with me and in me. 

The phone rings.  It is Bill.  He was so bummed that he had not called sooner.  Yes, although I had invited myself to his home for Easter, truly I was invited, not just for Easter but also to stay as long as I would like.  I could spend Easter in Hollywood or I could spend Easter in Phoenix, Arizona.  Originally, I had been invited to spend Easter with Dan and Julie Tabian Carlson.  As I wait next to the ocean communing with God as to where to go next, I fall fast asleep.

I think this is the best Easter ever!  Happy Easter to you!

A Dream Come True

Donnie dreams.  A dream has come true.  God has answered his life long prayer.  Jesus Christ has given Donnie someone to love him, care for him, hold him, cherish him.  His name is John Thomas.

John Thomas prays.  God has answered his prayer.  His only purpose in life is to walk and talk with his Lord and Savior Jesus Christ.  He is praying right now.

"Dear Heavenly Father,  I come before you in awe of your love.  There are no words great enough to give you the honor you deserve.  There is no song I can sing to give you the praise you relish.  I bow before you on humble knees looking to start out this brand new day....

Thank you for asking me to look after Donnie.  What a beautiful child of God he is.  Instead of sleeping, he now dreams.  Thank you for the gift of prayer.  Thank you for the gift of Cheryl.  Please hear my and the unknown number of brothers and sisters who pray for her at this time.  Hear our prayers.  Thank you for my cousin Bill.  Please be with him now as he is in the ICU at Northwest Community Hospital.  Thank you for my Uncle Eddie.  Please be with him as he struggles with cancer.  Thank you for my Aunty Carol.  YOU are an awesome God and you can heal whom ever you choose.  My Aunt Carol is cancer free at this time....

I pray for direction as we leave Gallup, New Mexico.  Where do we go from here?  "Trust in the Lord with all your heart, and lean not on your understanding.  In all your ways, acknowledge God, and He will direct your path."  Those are your words God (actually Solomon's) but today I make them ours....

This is the first day of the rest of my life.  Cliche?  Yes, but applicable.  We bring everything before you and worship you.  Know one thing, I love you!"  Your friend, JT"

I, I am only a writer, a poor one at best.  The good news is that this little trinity of a human being is making a new beginning.  Please do not look towards this trinity but look to the Big trinity.  Our Father, His son, Jesus Christ and His Comforter, The Holy Spirit who want to be part of your life too.  Please let us know what your dreams are!  Give us the JOY to be able to pray for your needs.  Whether you let us know or not is up to you.  God knows what you need even before you do.  We will join him in praying for you.  May God continue to bless you during this Holy week.

Good Friday

Donnie had a horrible nightmare.  He dreamed that when his parent's were trying to put him into the psychiatric ward that he panicked.  He screamed like the kid from Home Alone and jumped into a 1996 Buick Century and drove away as fast as he could.  Keep in mind that Donnie sees himself as a five year old.  It is kinda cute when you see a little kid trying to drive a big old car and the comedy that goes with it.  It is very troubling when you see a 53 year old man do the same thing.

Little Donnie is driving like a bat out of hell looking for some place to celebrate his birthday.  He is distraught over his friend who feels has rejected him because he has not invited him to be his roommate.  Donnie is now homeless.  All alone in this world.  He drives and he drives.  Finally Donnie stops in Gallup, New Mexico.

His nightmare continues.  When Little Donnie wakes up, he is naked in an old Motel6.  The horror and cliche continue as he sees an old weathered monk naked with him.  He starts to tailspin into a deeper despair.

"No more nightmares, Donnie", I tell him.  "Go back to sleep."

The great news is that today is Good Friday.  Jesus Christ has died for Donnie's and my sins.  Even better news for YOU is that Jesus has died for your sins.  My number one task is to look over this little boy Donnie.  No one wants to hear about his depression, loneliness and sexual disorientation.  Jesus Christ has appointed me to be the one to watch over Donnie.  Even Jesus Christ was unable to reach this poor little lost soul.  I. as John Thomas, have a purpose.  To look over one of Jesus lost sheep.  Remember the parable how the Shepherd left the 99 sheep to look for the one who was lost.  He found Donnie and has personally asked me to watch over him.  You see, there are now more missing sheep from his fold.

Jesus Christ died on the cross today for your and my sins.  Where are you in this parable?  Are you one of the sheep that are secure in your faith and in the fold?  Are you the one who is lost?  or worse yet, have you never been in the fold at all?

The great news is that Jesus Christ has asked me to join his team and to help him find lost sheep.  My primary goal is to love Jesus more than anyone.  Next is to love little Donnie Harbeck.  Then I am free to love the world.  Again, who are you?

John Thomas embraces Donnie

The time has come for me to allow Jesus Christ to work through me, with me and in me!  Today I have become a new creation and am using my catholic confirmation name, John Thomas.  This is one of the most powerful pictures I have ever seen.  Now as John Thomas, I am able to embrace and love Donnie.  This is something Donnie was unable to do for himself.  Not only can I love him but I am also able to love others.

With a new look on life, I hope to be able to make a positive difference in this world.  Hopefully, you will continue on this spiritual journey with me.

Time for Prayer and Fasting

What may appear as major depression for Donnie, was the perfect opportunity for John Thomas to join other friends on a joint effort to support a friend who is dieing.  Donnie may be sleeping but JT was able to pray and fast.  John Thomas completely trusts God in his infinite wisdom.  Donnie wishes to die but continues to live.  His friend wants to live and is on her death bed.  Life sometimes does not make sense.

The purpose for John Thomas' life is to be a messenger for God.  His primary goal is to draw nearer to God and give Him glory.  JT wants to do that by praying for his friends and family.  When someone trusts God like John Thomas does, it is easy for him to pray God's will be done and rest easy.

Please understand that JT loves Donnie and will do whatever he needs to do to help him find comfort, peace and rest. 

GIVE ME JESUS

Phyliss Chinn is in a wonderful place that has been made especially for her.  Donnie will miss this mother figure so much here on earth.  He yearns to go to heaven to be with her and all his loved ones.  Hopefully, we will be able to let Donnie find his resting place here on in earth in Memory Gardens.  The past is just too incredibly horrific for Donnie to move forward and be in the present.

As for John Thomas, he will continue to walk the path that Donnie no longer had the strength to complete.  With a new start and new beginning for JT, he only has one thought.  Give me Jesus!

Give me Jesus!  Give me Jesus!  YOU can have all this world but give me Jesus!

Snow is a reminder of our sins being completely covered over

John Thomas was thrilled to wake up to the world being covered in snow.  Snow is God's perfect reminder to us how our sins are being completely covered over by the blood of Jesus.  And how our hearts are as white as snow.  Donnie Harbeck had once again summoned John Thomas to take over life for him.  With this being the first day of Holy Week, John Thomas was certain to get an early start on the day.  He almost made it to the 6:30 am mass but not wanting to be late, communed with God at the 8:00 am service.  While waiting in the parking lot in the morning, John Thomas text Linda, Donnie's sister to ask about advice as to the next step for the irrational, depressed and emotionally unbalanced behavior of her brother.  They agreed that his seeing a psychiatrist was his next step.  The VA hospital has scheduled an appointment for Donnie next week.

John Thomas text Brian, Donnie's cousin about praying that Donnie does not go back into the Mormon church.  One of Brian's ministries is to talk to Mormons and help them see the truth that their church is not the one, true and only church for all Christianity.  John Thomas wondered how Brian had not been involved with Donnie for the past seven years.  Brian was very willing to talk to Donnie as much or as long as needed as soon as he returned to Texas.  Brian just lost his second Mother, Carol a few days before and was still in Appleton.

John Thomas also contacted Kelly and Tom B.  Kelly phoned back right away but their schedules will not align up until later this evening.  Tommy B invited Donnie/JT to stop by his office any time today.  He was free except for a noon meeting.  John Thomas went and had a wonderful time meeting Tommy and they both discussed the best way to help Donnie in his time of need.

I just noticed how much of a poor writer I am.  The last three paragraphs start out with the same name.
OOPS!  Still need to get over myself and just move on.

The time with Tommy was a defining moment for him.  After he left the office, John Thomas made more phone calls and visited Mike P who was not home, Donovan who was at work, and ended up talking to Stan at Chinn's 34th Street Fishery.   Knowing how much Donnie loved Phyliss, JT was overcome with emotion and needed to leave right away.  Stan said, "Thank you for all the times you visited my Mother.  I do not care anything about what took place here at the restaurant.  You and I were friends!"

Who was That guy in Appleton?

I am a writer.  Please do not kill the messenger.  Yesterday, Donnie Harbeck was having another meltdown.  He decided to stay at his parents' house and sleep all day and all night.  His parents are used to him doing that as that is what his normal behavior has been for the past two weeks since he moved back into their home....

Donnie is not aware of this but while he is sleeping, I come over to the computer and write.  I only write what I witness....

So, who was that guy in Appleton?  There was this man who wore a white button down sweater that belonged to Donnie's father.  This guy also wore his suit pants and his paisley out of date tie with a deep purple shirt.  He was a fashion nightmare.  Donnie Harbeck would have never worn this ensemble.  I do remember Donnie asking John Thomas to go on his behalf.  John Thomas said he would be happy to go on his behalf.  "Happy" is a foreign concept to Donnie.  Is it really possible that I, a writer, created a character or a persona who resembled Donnie.  Even his hair was different.  Combed to the side and no hair spray.  Donnie Harbeck always wears a Las Vegas baseball cap.  For most anyone who knows Donnie, Donald, Donn, etc, you know that he would never go anywhere without his Tresemme hair spray and brush.  So, who was this guy in Appleton?  Was it John Thomas?

The miracle that took place is whoever was in Appleton was happy.  This man believed to be John Thomas saw life in a brand new technological rainbow of brilliant colors.  He went to a memorial service and was able to celebrate the life of Donnie's Aunt.  Just for the sake of argument, let's call this guy JT.  JT was fascinated to hear how much his relatives loved Donnie.  They knew that Donnie had become a recluse to them.  John Thomas did not know them and they no longer knew Donnie.  It was wonderful because it was like the first time everyone was meeting each other.

As a writer, it would take me a lifetime, to paint you the pictures that I witnessed.  "If a picture paints a thousand words," than I would need an entire art gallery to even scratch the surface.  Here are some of the highlights:

JT was able to celebrate and be filled with JOY that Carol, the second wife of Donnie's Uncle Ray no longer had to suffer.  Donnie believes in heaven and now Carol and Aunty Barb, Uncle Ray's first wife live together in perfect harmony with a long list of other beloved family members.  Donnie gets so depressed over the loss of these relatives presence here on earth.  JT, on the other hand, only sees the joy.  One sees the glass half empty, JT sees the glass half full.

Donnie loves his Aunty Carol.  For years he has avoided her because of his shame over his life and the fear of her premature departure because of cancer.  JT was thrilled to meet Aunty Carol and ecstatic to be able to report back to Donnie that she has been cured from cancer after months of holistic and cutting new exploratory procedures.  No chemo. No radiation. 

Uncle Eddie is Donnie's Godfather.  He is dieing of cancer.  Donnie has never seen his Uncle Eddie without a cigarette and a beer.  JT was happy to report that some things never change.  Both of them would want it no other way.  JT hugged Uncle Eddie knowing that it may be the last time they see each other here on earth.  He was so happy to let him know that the clock he bought Donnie from Germany and mailed while he was serving in the army before his birth, still worked and was one of his most cherished possessions.  The clock is a hand carved dachshund from wood from the Black Forest with the eyes that glow in the dark.  The left eye is the hour.  The right the minutes.

John Thomas would meet and connect with Aunts and Uncles, Cousins and kids of Cousins.  Jeff was in from Asia.  Brian was in from Texas.  Time and time again, no one cared about anything of Donnie's sordid past or his tremendous number of failures. 

If John Thomas had to sum up the entire experience in one sentence.  It would be:  Donnie Harbeck is loved.

Does life get any more beautiful than that? 

John Thomas Goes on A Road Trip in a new Direction

John Thomas is going on a road trip but instead of going south, he is headed north.  Instead of going west, he is going east.  Has John lost his way?  The opposite is true.  God is taking John Thomas in a new direction.  Donnie has been freaking out for three days including a major meltdown about attending a memorial service in Wisconsin.  I believe God asked John Thomas to postpone his trip to California and has asked him to take a different trip.  A trip John gladly will take.  John Thomas now has the chance to allow Donnie to stay home and sleep.  He has the chance to escort Donnie's parents to be with family members in a difficult time.  John has the chance to visit with Donnie's Godfather and let him know how much Donnie loves him.  Donnie's Uncle Ray is burying his second wife.  It nearly killed his Uncle to lose a mother, his first wife, a sister and his son in a two year time span.  Now he has to bury his second wife.  God is going to be able to use John Thomas in numerous ways.  California is still in the plans.  Just not today.  John Thomas and Donnie's parents need to be on the road before 7:00 am.

The Road Trip is Postponed

John Thomas is certainly trying to be obedient to Jesus Christ leading him on this new journey.  Having prepared for the past twelve hours to make the road trip, John Thomas decides at 7:30 am that  the timing is not right.  No sign from God.  No special message from scripture.  Just that little quiet voice in his heart saying just not yet....


The first verification of this being the right decision was to listen to Donnie's mother's pain that her youngest son Ronnie would not be able to make the trip to Appelton for the memorial service of Uncle Ray's second wife Carol....

The second element of proof was the need for John Thomas to escort Donnie's father to several car rental facilities so that he could get a rental car for the out of state memorial services.  This short fifteen minute excursion ended up being a five hour ordeal.  Donnie was in no state of mind to drive but John Thomas was happy to be able to assist...


What seems to be the biggest reason for the delayed trip was the unforseen emotional breakdown that Donnie would have today.  His parents would be unable to deal with the emotional tumult, but JT would know exactly when and if Donnie needed to be taken to the psychiatric ward.  John Thomas did not need to do a thing.  Thank God for facebook.  So many friends came and gathered around Donnie in his difficult time.  Buckets, Kevin, Sue, Tim, Linda, Melinda, Lisa, Jeff, Kelly just to name a few.  The person who had the most impact was Deb.  Deb is in a similar state of being but her situation is so much worse.  With Deb's situation so difficult, it made Donnie's ordeal minimal.  Oh, I know, that it is sick and wrong to try to rate an individual's level of deepest, darkest pits of despair.  But the touch of humanity in all this, if Donnie can stop and pray and be concerned for Deb's situation, he forgets about the pain of his own.  It is completely opposite of ignoring his own.  His being in tune and in touch with his pain, will allow Donnie to be able to empathize with others.  Like Deb in this case....


For three days, Donnie has lamented about not going to this memorial service.  All his life, Donnie has been an over-achiever.  At the age of 52, Donnie is so ashamed of his nothingness, that being with a very successful family is a torment similar to the weeping and gnashing that takes place in hell.  Ask Donnie, he thinks he is in hell here on earth...


Like Jesus Christ who took the sin for each of us, John Thomas is going to go to this family function and be the sacrificial lamb for this little lost lamb of God's.   On a side note, Donnie's family is very loving.  Most of the abuse is heaped up by Donnie himself from his own self loathing, his twisted mind, and his warped misperception.  However, not even God, could convince Donnie that this persecution has been self inflicted.  Therefore, I shall not even try.  For who am I but a mere writer....


A bit of trivia.  The man who wrote and performed "Don't Worry, Be Happy" did NOT commit suicide.   If you do not believe me. ask Kevin Welch (Waldo)

John Thomas begins his Journey

With Donnie spiraling down the emotional and psychological rollercoaster, it seems the right time to trust Donnie to the care of his parents.  There is really nothing that the two of them can do but Donnie will be safe to sleep forever.  At present, he sleeps between 20 - 22 hours a day.  Honestly, his parents will not even know that he is there in a few days....


John Thomas will pack the car and begin his new journey.  He will have two companions along for the ride.  One will be the bearded dragon, Clyde and the other will be Baby, the conure.   Clyde and Baby will enjoy the freedom of being on the road rather than being trapped in a cage.  The time has come for John Thomas to start a new life.  His first objective is to find a place for the three of them to live.  Will it be Arizona, California or Oregon?  John Thomas will be driving Donnie's 1996 Buick Century....

Donnie Gives Clyde to John Thomas

Donnie has been spending more and more time in bed on a daily basis.  If I had to estimate, I would say that he spends about 20 - 22 hours in bed a day.  This seems to be the only remedy for his extreme depression.  I believe he will be happiest when he is able to sleep eternally.  Yesterday, the only thing he wanted to do was to watch the televison show, GLEE.  He watched a few other shows with his parents, but watching Kate plus 8 seemed to put him in a bigger depression.  Kate and her eight children were in Australia at Steve Irwin's zoo.  It mad him happy to see them playing and feeding all the animals.  That is one side of the coin.  The other side of the coin is the extreme sadness that overwhelmed Donnie as the reality is he will never get to go to the zoo in Australia and do the same thing.  He was so sad that he cried himself to sleep.  I am certain that is what prompted Donnie to give Clyde to John Thomas today.  Donnie has been neglecting Clyde for a few days now.  He did not realize that Clyde had been in the same position for three days now.  When he went to his bearded dragon's terrarium, I was certain that Clyde was dead.  Donnie looked at Clyde.  I think Donnie thought Clyde was dead too.  He touched him.  Clyde was ice cold.  He picked up the lizards tail and Clyde did not move a muscle.  Donnie tried to pick up Clyde but the bearded dragon was completely lifeless.  I watched Donnie as he began to cry....


John Thomas picked up the lifeless bearded dragon and put the freezing lizard's body next to his body.  Clyde's heart was resting on John Thomas's chest, right over his heart.  John pressed Clyde firmly against his chest and I could feel the heat leaving his body and entering Clyde's.  Within a few minutes, Clyde's eyes began to open.  Still motionless, Clyde's eyes rotated to see everything that was taking place.  John Thomas just laid on his back and allowed Clyde to rest on his warm body as if he were basking on the sand soaking up the heat from the sun or in Clyde's case, a heat lamp....


Donnie looked at John Thomas and smiled.  "I want you to have Clyde!"  It was quite a defining moment for me.  It was so nice to see Donnie happy.  If even for a moment.  John Thomas did not say a word.  He just smiled at Donnie and just held Clyde even closer to his body....


What happened next was amazing.  John Thomas took Clyde and went into the bedroom and took a nap with Clyde.  He laid on his back and Clyde took a nap on John Thomas's chest.  Clyde did not try to crawl away, he just closed his eyes and went to sleep.  About an hour later, Clyde relocated and rested on John's arm.  After another nap, Clyde crawled into the groove of John Thomas's thighs and rested for quite some time.  John Thomas made the blankets into a cave and Clyde seemed rather content to look out from his "under the covers' created cave.  After several hours, John Thomas took Clyde back to his terrarium.  Clyde did not want to let go.  Carefully, John Thomas unpried his claws from his shirt and placed Clyde back in his glass home.  He turned the heat lamp on secured the cage.  John Thomas told Donnie that he would be very happy to love and care for Clyde.  Donnie smiled.

The Life of John Thomas

Today is the beginning of a new life for me!  My first request is to ask you to allow me to pray for you.  What better gift could I give you than for you to come with your burdens, concerns or thoughts and be able to leave them here knowing that you have a friend committed to praying for your needs.