John Thomas is certainly trying to be obedient to Jesus Christ leading him on this new journey. Having prepared for the past twelve hours to make the road trip, John Thomas decides at 7:30 am that the timing is not right. No sign from God. No special message from scripture. Just that little quiet voice in his heart saying just not yet....
The first verification of this being the right decision was to listen to Donnie's mother's pain that her youngest son Ronnie would not be able to make the trip to Appelton for the memorial service of Uncle Ray's second wife Carol....
The second element of proof was the need for John Thomas to escort Donnie's father to several car rental facilities so that he could get a rental car for the out of state memorial services. This short fifteen minute excursion ended up being a five hour ordeal. Donnie was in no state of mind to drive but John Thomas was happy to be able to assist...
What seems to be the biggest reason for the delayed trip was the unforseen emotional breakdown that Donnie would have today. His parents would be unable to deal with the emotional tumult, but JT would know exactly when and if Donnie needed to be taken to the psychiatric ward. John Thomas did not need to do a thing. Thank God for facebook. So many friends came and gathered around Donnie in his difficult time. Buckets, Kevin, Sue, Tim, Linda, Melinda, Lisa, Jeff, Kelly just to name a few. The person who had the most impact was Deb. Deb is in a similar state of being but her situation is so much worse. With Deb's situation so difficult, it made Donnie's ordeal minimal. Oh, I know, that it is sick and wrong to try to rate an individual's level of deepest, darkest pits of despair. But the touch of humanity in all this, if Donnie can stop and pray and be concerned for Deb's situation, he forgets about the pain of his own. It is completely opposite of ignoring his own. His being in tune and in touch with his pain, will allow Donnie to be able to empathize with others. Like Deb in this case....
For three days, Donnie has lamented about not going to this memorial service. All his life, Donnie has been an over-achiever. At the age of 52, Donnie is so ashamed of his nothingness, that being with a very successful family is a torment similar to the weeping and gnashing that takes place in hell. Ask Donnie, he thinks he is in hell here on earth...
Like Jesus Christ who took the sin for each of us, John Thomas is going to go to this family function and be the sacrificial lamb for this little lost lamb of God's. On a side note, Donnie's family is very loving. Most of the abuse is heaped up by Donnie himself from his own self loathing, his twisted mind, and his warped misperception. However, not even God, could convince Donnie that this persecution has been self inflicted. Therefore, I shall not even try. For who am I but a mere writer....
A bit of trivia. The man who wrote and performed "Don't Worry, Be Happy" did NOT commit suicide. If you do not believe me. ask Kevin Welch (Waldo)
John, I know you are going to be P/O'ed at me for this; but I think it was a sign from above whatever caused you to decide not to take that road trip.
ReplyDeleteI kept my mouth shut - but I think it is a terible idea; fraught with many possibilities for thing to go wrong (especially with pets along).
UNSOLICITED ADVICE: I think you should stay with your parents for a while (I'm sure they love having their son there), build up your savings; and take some time and advice from friends before you decide what to do.
I don't want to see you cast yourself off into another bad situation.
Dear Mike~
ReplyDeleteYou may be quite surprized but I am NOT P/Oed at you! Actually, this is one of the best comments you have ever made to me since I have known you! Now that is a surprize to me indeed! :)
JT, one day at a time. I agree with Mike, and perhaps grow where you are currently planted.
ReplyDelete