Feed My Sheep

Jesus asked me today, "Do you love me?"

"Yes, Lord."

"Then feed my sheep."

Arriving early at Social Service this morning where I volunteer, my boss Tina asked me to put on some gloves and help serve breakfast.  "I would love to" was my response.

Jesus asked me later, "Do you love me?"

"Yes, Lord.  You know I do."

"then tend to my sheep."

There was a break after breakfast and Tina asked me to introduce the new community service worker to the clients.  We do not have poor or homeless at Get Love, we have clients.  It struck me funny that I choose to be here but the man doing community service was forced to be there.  There is nothing that makes me more nervous than introducing people to each other.  Sometimes I have forgotten my own mother's name because of the anxiety it causes me.

As I took this new member of our team out to the patio,  I stood in awe of how many of the client's names that I knew.  Not only did I know their name but I also knew their story.  I felt as if I was on my very own patio mingling with very close friends and family.  The mystical moment came to my mind that    truly I am.

"Do you love me?"  Jesus asks a third time.

No answer was needed - I just invited Jesus Christ into my heart to check for himself.

"Then feed my lambs."

I thanked the clients for talking with Michael and me.  He thanked them too.  Then we both joined the other volunteers and served lunch.

Doing God's Work

Yesterday I stopped a man from killing a homeless man.  He was irate because this man was tormenting another handicapped homeless senior citizen.  One of the demon possessed clients at social service was having a tumultuous bout with demons.  I was the only one who was able to calm him down.  All I said was, "Are you alright. Raymond?"  Raymond said, "I am okay, thanks."   There was another homeless individual who was frantic about his recent experience with homelessness.  I sat down with him and explained how he would never starve as there are many organizations who feed the poor and that he has several options for finding employment.  He was relieved.

Later that day, I felt that I had wasted the day and felt bad that I was still homeless and unemployed.  I even questioned God as to why I was here on this earth.

God just shrugged his shoulders and I sensed him say, "Really?" as he flashed back a couple of the individuals that I had helped during the day.  God allowed me to star in my very own version of "It's a Wonderful Life!" for a day.

Today I will do God's work at the food pantry.

Tomorrow I will begin week twelve at Food on Foot.

A Mystical Moment

Friday I went to the food line at Romaine and Sycamore in Hollywood.  As I was waiting for the food truck to arrive, the man who runs the Meals on Wheels announces that he is short volunteers.  He asks for volunteers and then looks right at me and asks me if I would serve.  Truly it is better to serve than to be served.  I felt special.  I felt chosen.

As I was serving the homeless, the poor and many of my new found friends as I am in the similar predicament, I saw a friend of mine who had just been released from being incarcerated for his violent behavior.  I let him know how much I had missed him and how good it was to see him again.  After I was done serving, I joined my friend and had dinner with him.  The rest of my friends that I had gone to the food line had come and gone.  I looked forward to seeing them on Sunday at Food on Foot.

My friend started by telling me that he could see light around me.  He felt safe to talk to me.  For the next seven hours, my friend would unleash hours and hours of unbridled pain and anguish that he has been in for many years.  I felt like I had two angels on each of my shoulders.  One angel was Jay from Food on Foot who would shout in my right ear and tell me to LISTEN every time I wanted to offer a word of advice.  I remained silent.  On the other shoulder, Silvana from Food on Foot would whisper in my left ear just to LOVE and not be judgmental.  The entire evening and into the early morning, I listened and loved my friend.  It was mystical.  It was magical.  It was a divine moment when I knew that God was using me as his vessel.

The moral of the story.  My friend thanked me SO much for how I convinced him to not kill the person who wronged him.  He no longer planned on killing him nor did he plan on beating him up so bad where he would be beyond recognition.  All I did was LISTEN and LOVE.  For me, this was a real life story of being part of the Butterfly Effect!

I won First Prize at Food on Foot today.  However, seeing Wayne get his prize for being in the program for 25 weeks, and Margarito graduating from the Gray shirt program and giving a Gray shirt to Lee Dunlap touched my heart so much more.  Knowing that my friend who lives in constant darkness and believes he is demon possessed was able to see the light of Jesus Christ around me leads me to believe that "He who began a good work in me will be faithful to complete it."

Thank you for letting me share this mystical moment with you!

YOU Light Up My Life

YOU Light Up My Life!

Thank you SO much for being part of my life!

Being published for the first time

If you get a chance, please contact Food on Foot at www.foodonfoot.org and ask them to send you their newsletter, Foot Notes.Volume 4, Issue 4, August 2011.  Something I wrote was published.  If you are too lazy or do not have the time, I have taken the liberty to reprint the article here.

SILVANA SHARES

As Food on Foot's Program Director, I recently received a rare email from one of our Work for Food participants.  Each week, I counsel them on an individual basis, work with the crews that pick up trash on Mondays, teach them computer skills, and supervise as they read to the elderly on Wednesdays.  I help guide them in a positive direction with words of encouragement and am truly rewarded when they graduate into a full time job, becoming tax payers instead of tax burdens.  John Thomas has been a proud     member of the WFF crew for 7 weeks.

Dear Silvana~


Although my mind tells me not to send you this email, I have decided to listen to my heart.  Uncertain as to whether you have heard about the results but I won the first prize today.  It has been a long time since I have won first prize in anything.  Thank you and Food on Foot for giving me hope, a new lease on life and a desire to get back into the game again.  For several reasons, I seem to have lost my way on the journey called life.  You will never know the joy and and elation that filled my heart today when Jay announced my name.


No longer do I consider myself a loser.  From now on, I want to be a winner!  Without question or doubt, today was the best day of 2011 for me!  Random acts of kindness has completely reshaped the way I look at life.  Jay and Food on Foot has helped me realize that I need to earn a living and that I was wrong for expecting to be fed by a silver spoon.  There is dignity and self respect in picking up garbage to make the world a better place to live.  You, Liz and Thuong (Sunday Program Managers) pour your hearts and souls into helping us get back on our feet.  I now am an ambassador for Food on Foot.  Everything I do directly reflects on the organization.  My hope, goal and intention is to continue to live life in an effort that my actions will make you proud and bring praises to Food on Foot.


Absolutely elated,


John Thomas

Loving Life in California

Last week I was at the mansion of Elizabeth Taylor in Beverly Hills.  Recently, I saw Debbie Reynolds on the TV show, So You Think You Can Dance.  Last night I was at Eddie Canter's restaurant on Fairfax, meeting with someone who is thinking about funding my documentary while we were listening to a musician who might be producing the original musical score for Project Homeless.  Next week, I have been invited to my first party in Malibu!  Not bad for a "dude" who is homeless and without a job.

Which church did Sheila Tillis and I go to this past Sunday?

Sheila Tillis and I are both participating in the Food on Foot program.  Sheila Tillis is Baptist.  I converted from being a Baptist to being a member of the Catholic church.  Which church did Sheila Tillis and I go to this past Sunday?

Contemplation on being the Prodigal Son

First, I must inform you that Donnie is unable to answer this question.  I have not seen Donnie since the day Baby flew away to join a band of parrots.  The only thing I know is that Donnie was so fragmented and so confused with his disassociative disorder that I am SO happy that he is free at last to be one with God, nature, the ocean and his quest to find and tend to Baby.

Having a physical body left behind, I am happy to recreate and become the person I always wished to be.  My name is John Thomas and I was the younger brother who wasted his fortune on drugs, alcohol, loose women and men, and denied myself no pleasure known to man.  However, I returned and repented  to my Father in heaven and I find myself starting life all over again.  A new beginning.  A fresh start.  John Thomas has no past.  All my sin has been washed away by the blood of Jesus.

Today I find myself to be the older brother.  My purpose and meaning for life only includes doing the will of my Father in heaven.  Out of the 50 states in our country, I chose to live in California.  My heart desires to be in Venice or Santa Monica Beach.  The Lord seems to have requested that I work, presently, in Hollywood.  Therefore, Hollywood is where you will find me.  No longer am I on the quest  to become a famous star but I find myself to be a servant.  Three or four days a week, I work at Social Services trying to feed the hungry, giving something to drink to the thirsty.  Sometimes I help to clothe the naked.  Other times, I try to visit those who are in prison.  My main passion is to help find homes for the homeless.   Working at the Food Pantry gives me the chance to help feed hundreds of the poor and struggling every time I volunteer.  This Sunday will be the tenth week that I have worked at Food on Foot.  As I graduate from the first third of the program, I pray as if it is God's will for me to continue to the second third.  Let me remind you that I have asked God to close every door that he does not wish for me to enter.  Therefore, I wait.  And Contemplate.

What I need to focus on the most is to forgive and not to resent.  When I was the older brother in the past, I resented others for being the reckless younger brother.  I resented being the obedient brother so much that I left the fold and became like the younger brother.  When I was the reckless younger brother, I resented the lack of compassion given to me by friends, family and church people.  Now again as I focus on being the older brother, I must be careful not to resent my younger reckless brothers and sisters for their lives of debauchery.  What is even worse is that I must not resent and must forgive my older brothers and sisters for their lack of compassion to me and the lost, especially the homeless.

With God, the Father not here on earth, I find that the older brothers and sisters have locked the doors to my younger brothers and sisters, out of God's house, His church.  What is God's will and plan for the homeless?  For this I contemplate and commit to do as my life work.

What am I gonna do?

What are you gonna do?

What are we gonna do?

Remember the Prodigal Son?

Do you remember the parable of the Prodigal Son?

Long story, short.  There are two brothers.  The younger brother asks his Father for his portion of the inheritance and wastes his fortune on drugs, wine and women.  The older brother stays home and works the land for his Father.  The younger brother realizes his mistake and goes home and repents to his Father.  The Father is elated and throws a huge party for the younger brother.  The older brother is pissed off.

My question today is which brother am I?

God's House

What a JOY it is for me to be able to go to God's house!

At mass today, as I prayed the Lord's prayer, it was clear to me that God ALWAYS provides me and my homeless friends our daily bread through all the organizations like Get Love who feed the hungry.

Yet my heart pangs in grief as little is being done to house the homeless.  My solution to the homeless situation is unlocking the doors to the church and inviting the homeless into God's house.  Is that God's plan?  I pray, contemplate and wait patiently for God's answer.

Will you pray with me?

"What am I gonna do? What are you gonna do? What are we gonna do?

If you get a chance, please check out Mr. Shawn 'Donyell's video on You Tube entitled Gonna Do.

Hopefully, Shawn will allow me to use his song as the theme song for the Project Homeless documentary.

Life has become very busy for me as I have been volunteering full time at Social Services and the Food Pantry at The Church of the Blessed Sacrament.  This Sunday will complete the first phase of three at the Food on Foot program that I have been working at for the past ten weeks.  Learning as much as I can about filming as I have another PSA (Public Service Announcement) to shoot this week.  My car is home for my fourth tenant as we work to find alternative housing and to help yet one more person from living life on the streets.  Slowly and patiently I move forward as friends join in my effort to continue working on the Project Homeless documentary.

Each one.  Help one.

I implore YOU to ask God how you might be able to help me - help others!