The Emmys

Donnie lives in his own little world.  An imaginary one.  Like Cinderella, I will often find him sitting in a corner singing, "In my own little corner, in my own little world, I can be whoever I want to be..."

Now that my personality has split, it is easy for me to see Donnie in a new light.  Donnie REALLY wants to win an Emmy.  I have actually found a speech that he wrote as his acceptance speech.  One which insists that he was completely taken by surprise.  He is so funny.

This year Donnie merely wanted to attend the Emmys.  He is a huge fan of Jane Lynch and the television show GLEE.  He continually plots different ways to be the substitute teacher for Will Schuster.  The sad thing is Donnie can not act.  He is one of the worst actors I have ever met.

I had the opportunity to be a server at the Emmys this year.  I actually received a call from the manager of Culinary Staffing Services.  Dan Stone knew how much I would have loved to be there.  I did not tell Donnie that "The Prison" refused to let us go back to LA County to the Nokia Theatre.  They said it was too far and that "Donald" would not be back in time for curfew.

Reality is Donnie remained in bed most of Sunday.  He was SO depressed because all the inmates wanted to watch football.  If he mentioned that he wanted to watch the Emmys, certainly many of the "patients" would have thought or said  he was a "faggot".  We all know that homosexuality makes Donnie suicidal and we would not want that.

Sometimes I think I made a mistake by not taking Donnie to the Emmys.  I could have worked and made money and Donnie could have lived one of his dreams.  He would never had to have known that he was not one of the guests of honor.   We would have been dressed in a tuxedo.  We could have kept that a secret just between you and me.  I thought it was a better idea that Donnie have a roof over his head whether it was "His prison" or "psych ward".

I can hear Donnie now, "Where in Santa Barbara does Ellen live?  Maybe if she becomes my friend, she will invite me as her guest when she hosts the Emmys?"