Pinochle

Yesterday I made the mistake of showing Donnie the You Tube broadcast of Susan Boyle singing for the first time on Britain's Got Talent.  With over 75 million views, Susan is now a household name.  Although Donnie is very happy for Susan, he started crying uncontrollably that the same thing would never happen for him.  We had to leave the library at once to avoid further embarrassment for both of us.

Once Donnie settled down, he was quick to remind me that I promised him that we would do something FUN that he wanted to do.  What a predicament I put myself in.  Fortunately for me, one of the patients at Donnie's "VA version of One Flew Over the Cuckoo's Nest" came up with the solution.  Douglas suggested that we play two handed pinochle.  I wish you would have been there to see Donnie's eyes light up.  He was so excited.  A little perturbed that Douglas had said two handed instead of three handed but Donnie does not understand that I am the only one who sees him.   We had tried to play four handed pinochle several times but the fourth player was kicked out of the "prison" for violation of the rules.  Donnie could never figure out why Douglas, Josh, he and me could not play.  He also could not understand how you can kicked out of "prison" for breaking the rules.  Donnie asked, "Don't you get put in prison for breaking the rules not for obeying them?"  I just chuckled.

I asked Douglas to briefly go over the rules again.  Donnie was happy to be sitting on my lap just as he used to sit on his Grandma Harbeck's lap while she played.  Grandma Harbeck never played two handed. Only four handed.  She was an incredible card player.  She even taught Donnie how to play.  One of his fondest memories would be when someone needed to step out for a bit, Grandma H would allow Donnie to be the fourth player.

With Donnie in my lap, Douglas and I began playing two handed pinochle.  The three of us had a wonderful time.  We would have played all night long but curfew on Saturday is eleven pm so we were "encouraged" to finish up our last hand and head for bed.

I thought everything was wonderful.  Donnie started to crash and burn.  Donnie started missing his Grandmother so much that he wanted to die so he could go to heaven to be with her.  The last time he had played pinochle was when he was with his Grandmother.  One of Donnie's favorite things to do is to play cards.  He continued to tail spin as his favorite card game is ROOK.  He vowed never to play ROOK again here on earth because of a traumatic family event.  Donnie even buried his ROOK cards in his cousin Steve's coffin because Steve was the only one who ALWAYS made himself available to play cards.  One of Donnie's favorite memories is playing cards with his brother Ron, his cousins Steve and Bill. Donnie wishes he would just die so he can be in heaven with Steve and play cards for all eternity.  Grandma Zoch was always ready and willing to play any game we chose.  She is in heaven too.  Three of Donnie's favorite relatives are in heaven.  Melancholy continued to draw Donnie into a deeper and deeper depression.  I tried to keep his hysteria and crying under control, but as one patient after another began to snore, I knew that our secret was safe for at least one more night.

As Donnie laid there trying to cry himself to sleep, I contemplated that maybe Tracy was right and that I should have checked myself into the VA West LA psychiatric ward.  Between Donnie crying, my contemplating, the patients' snoring and the noises of being on one of the busiest street on a Saturday night, we did not get much sleep.  Morning came and we were too tired to get out of bed.  Afternoon came and we were still too tired to sleep.

I am not sure if I convinced Donnie to get out of bed or Donnie convinced me.  However, between the both of us, we decided to take a walk to the library.  As we walked past bar after bar, we were so thankful not to be tormented in being in those establishments forced  to watch football at record levels of loud volume.  As we walked past places that served brunch, Donnie found himself missing Kelly and Linda.  The last brunch he served was with them.  Oh the memories of Santa Marghareto Pinot Grigio!  As we continued to walk up Main Street, Donnie saw a purse that Alissa would have to have.  Coach has an incredible purse on sale from $595 to $295.  Oh the days of wine and roses!

Although Donnie thinks he is cursed, I assure him that we are blessed.  Although we are homeless, jobless and broke, I remind him to remember the song his Grandma Zoch used to sing to him.  Count Your Blessings!  Whether it be a "nuthouse" or "prison", we have a place to stay.  We have a job at Culinary Staffing Services in LA that we can not get to and we have a job at Pure Joy Catering that just went into their slow season.  We must NOT forget that we are applying for a job that Donnie has wanted all his life.  We are applying to work at the Santa Barbara zoo.  Although I will have to convince Donnie that we can not talk to and pet the animals but that we may be able to feed them, he is already arguing with me.  "That's not true!" he said. "I already talked to, pet and fed the giraffes."

"Count Your Blessings!"  Grandma Zoch sings in the memory of Donnie's mind.

"I live next to the Pacific Ocean in a beautiful city called Santa Barbara.  Even the name reminds me of my Aunt Barbara who made a deal with God to stay here on earth one extra year to be with her family after the death of her son, Michael who had tried to fly home from California to be with her during her surgery with cancer.  God answered her plea/prayer.  Almost one year from that date, she told everyone that it was now time for her to be with Michael and she died.  God has me here for a reason.  Maybe I need to spend some more time by the ocean and commune with God.  My friends and family want me to get the help I need.  Uncle Sam and the three psychiatrists I am working with will decide where that will be.  Whether I stay in Santa Barbara or return to West LA, I am a blessed little boy!"  Donnie continues to count his blessings.

I am certain that Donnie and I will see a dove on the walk back to what we now call home.  A dove is God's reminder to us that Grandma Zoch is still watching over us.  If we see two doves, we will know that Steve is with her.  If we see a deck of ROOK cards, Donnie might just "freak out"!  Hopefully, we can find Douglas and play pinochle again tonight!