The pain is crushing the very core of my being, Uncontrollable thoughts of suicide. No matter what I do, how long I pray or meditate, I am left with the thought that my life does not matter. Why am I here? Why will God not remove me from this painful existence? When I read the book of Proverbs, I am continually reminded of all the wrong turns I have made every time I read the word "fool". There is no reason for me to go to hell because I am constantly tormented by demons here on earth. Am I a fool to believe that I can be happy by merely counting my blessings or naming my favorite things?
The days of being homeless have turned into months. The months are turning to years. My mental health is deteriorating. My body is in physical pain from my neck down through my legs.
If you are reading this, please forgive me. No one wants to read this pathetic viewpoint.
PLEASE pray for the grim, reaper to come and get me. At least you would be spared of having to read this miserable rhetoric.
Maybe I just need to muster the courage to kill myself,
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