LISTENING

When I ask you to listen to me and you start giving me advice, you have not done what I asked.

When I ask you to listen to me and you begin to tell me why I shouldn't feel that way,
   you are trampling on my feelings.

When I ask you to listen to me and you feel you have to say something to solve my problem,
   you have failed me, strange as it may seem.

Listen!  All I ask is that you listen, not talk or do...just hear me.

When you do something for me that I can and need to do for myself,
   you contribute to my fear and inadequacy.

And I can do for myself, I'm not helpless.  Maybe discouraged and faltering, but not helpless.

But when you accept as simple fact that I do feel what I feel, no matter how irrational,
   than I can quit trying to convince you and get about the business of understanding what's behind
   this irrational feeling.  And when that's clear, the answers are obvious and I don't need advice.

Irrational feelings make sense when we understand what's behind them.

So please listen and just hear me.  And if you want to talk, wait a minute for your turn,
   and I will listen to you.

Words of Wisdom by Ralph Roughton