The Purpose Driven Life

When I was in high school, one of my best friends name was Jeff Smith.  I went to Wheeling high school and he went to Buffalo Grove.  He was two years younger than me.  He loved to work on cars and I hated the mere thought of getting greasy.  We used to go everywhere together.  Whenever he had the chance, he would open the hood of my car and look for things to improve.

One day, I asked him what he wanted to do with the rest of his life.  He said he wanted to marry his childhood sweetheart, have three boys and be a mechanic at the gas station across from his high school.   I remember going home and talking to my Mom how short sighted he was.  I wanted to travel all over the world, become famous, and live in a castle with a maid, butler and gardener.

Today I am in awe of how noble Jeff Smith is.  He married and is still married to his childhood sweetheart.  God blessed his request and granted him three incredible sons.  He worked as a mechanic at the gas station across from his high school for several decades.  Since then he accepted a lucrative offer as the manager and lead mechanic at the Harley dealership on Rand Road. 

My friend Judy Wu Geerdes moved to Washington D.C. and then to Michigan to study at Rob Bell's church.  Judy is one of my best friends and the best ministry partner I ever have served with.  They were studying Rick Warren's book, The Purpose Driven Life.  After being in Michigan and studying for a year, Judy understood that her purpose driven life is to be a wife and a mother.  God answered her prayers and Judy is now married to a wonderful man and has two beautiful sons.

Jeff and Judy will forever be a part of me.  Although I do not see them anymore, they both have taught me a life lesson.  One of the most important lessons I need to learn in life is to have a purpose driven life.  Hopefully, with prayer and study, God will reveal to me my purpose driven life.

What is the point of living if one has no purpose?

The Pessimist and the Optimist

There were two children.  One was a pessimist.  The other an optimist.  No matter what situation the children would be placed in, the pessimist would always find something to complain or gripe about.  On the other hand, the optimist was always happy and filled with joy.

A bunch of therapists decided to conduct an experiment.  The therapists believed it was the environment which controlled the behavior and feelings.  The experiment commenced.

The pessimist was placed in a room filled with toys.  More toys than you could even imagine.  Even more than you would find at Toys R Us.  They left the pessimist alone to play with the toys.

The optimist was placed in a room filled with horse manure.  Horse manure everywhere.  The therapists left the optimist alone to wallow in his plight.

When the therapists went back to check on the pessimist, they were aghast to find the child crying in the middle of the floor.  When they asked the child what was wrong, the child responded, "There are so many toys in here, there is no room for me to play."

Naturally, they expected the child in the room filled with manure to respond this way.  However, when they checked on the optimist, they could not understand why the child was so euphoric with joy.  When asked why the child was so happy, the child said with glee, "With all this horse manure, there has to a pony in here some place."

In the past, I have been much like the pessimist.  Today and from now on, I am going to try to be more like the optimist.  Which one are you more like?

An Alternate World

Instead of complaining and griping in this world, I have found a much better solution.  When I am depressed, stressed or filled with anxiety, I have decided to go to an alternate world.  A world in which God and I worked together to create a quiet, serene and relaxing place where He and I can meet.  Each one of the fish were hand picked.  You would not believe how long I would go from aquarium to aquarium looking for the perfect house guests.  There is a beautiful male guppy with the darkest black tail you have ever seen.  He has three girl friends.  One female has an orange tail, another has a yellow tail and the third has a red tail.  Along with the guppies, there are three delightful angel fin tetras.  They spend most of the time playing tag with one another.  I wish you were able to see the deepest red swordfish my eyes have ever beheld.  He seems to be the king among the fish and watches over everyone.  He has two beautiful brides, both a beautiful red.

Now no tank would be complete without workers.  There is an algae eater who spends all day long cleaning the insides of the aquarium glass.  He is assisted by a many snails who are responsible for cleaning the majority of the tank.  The albino catfish works hard at vacuuming the floor of the tank and is helped by the two ghost crabs.  It is always fun looking for the ghost crabs as they are almost invisible.

Sometimes I have a very hard time dealing with the reality of the world called earth.  Until my feelings and thoughts turn to happy ones, I shall not acknowledge or give the negative ones any more power over my life.  I will simply invite God to join me in a world which we created and bask in his love and the Incredible Creator that God truly is.

Battling Depression

Like an elephant, I must remember that no one is interested in listening to me complain or gripe about the things that are not going well in my life.  Whether it was my friend canceling our plans at  the last minute, my blood pressure dropping to 80/50 or someone stole my third bike, I have fallen into a depression once again.  However, I must not focus on the depression but what might lift me back to a state of happiness.  Maybe the elephant mug that Donnie received for his birthday might lift his spirits.  

Maybe spending some time praying or meditating by our new fountain may wash away the negative feelings that overwhelm us.  Maybe asking you to say a prayer or two on our behalf might capture God's attention.  Maybe if I consider the horrible pain that my Aunt is going through as she fights cancer, or the  horror that Mike Payne faces as almost all his belongings were destroyed in a flood and he is homeless again, or the agony that my cousin is going through as she struggles with six children and a husband who left her; when I do this it might make me more depressed; or most likely, I will snap out of Satan's trap of depression and be free to embrace the incredible fact that I am SO blessed by God.

I think I read somewhere that we are encouraged to fight the good fight.  And so I do!

One of my birthday presents

I shall be forever a five year old.  Donnie's mother sent him a check for his birthday and I was so excited to be able to purchase this monkey coffee/tea mug for him.  Donnie's favorite toy of all time was his "little red monkey".  He never went anywhere without "him".  He talked to him, confided in him and shared every emotion with him.  Oh, the stories Donnie could tell you about "Red"!

Dear Lord

Sometimes I am in total awe of how blessed I am.  My favorite movie is "Fried Green Tomatoes".
My favorite line from my favorite movie is "Do you what the best thing in the world is?  Friends, Best Friends."  I am in awe of the wonderful friends that I have.  The friends I never see anymore.  The friends that I wish I could see.  The friends who care about me so much that they read this "silly, ole blog" every day.  Even when I do not write, they still check in to see how I am doing.

Thank you for being the best part of my life.

Hopefully, when I regroup and get my life back together, I might be able to be the same kind of friend to you as you have been to me.

I love you!

Wrongful Regrets

For years and years, I lived with the regret that I did not go to an Air Force high school ROTC program, attend the U.S. Air Force Academy, and make a career out of the Air Force.  This year I was enlightened that there is no reason for me to have those regrets.  One might say they were wrongful regrets.  As I answered the fifty-five Facebook birthday greetings, I was made aware that I have a collection of friends for every decade.  Although I do not get to see these friends and family as often as I would like, each individual has a special place in my heart.  Had I gone through the Air Force career, I would have not met most of the friends that I have now.

The greatest regret I could have is to not have these friends and family in my life.

One day I think I will write each of these friends and family members and let them know how much they mean to me.  I should do this soon as we are never promised tomorrow.  In the last six months, I have lost three friends to "The Grim Reaper".  The biggest regret I could have is not not let people know how much they mean to me.

From now on I focus on counting my blessings.  There is no time for regret.  If you are reading this blog, you can be certain that you are one of the greatest blessings in my life.  Thank you for taking the time to invest in my life.  Thank you for being there when I needed you.  Thank you for loving me when I felt unloveable.

Please know that I love you!

My Homeless Dilemna

When I was rich, I never did anything for the homeless.  For some obscure reason, I believed that the homeless deserved to be in their situation.  Whether it was from drugs or alcohol or being too lazy to work, "they dug their hole and now it was their responsibility to climb their way out.

Funny how your perspective can change when the "shoe is on the other foot".  

Although I contend that being homeless and jobless was the best thing to ever happen to me.  Yes, being homeless has helped me to be more compassionate.  Yes, being jobless has taught me to be more frugal.  However, I am left with the dilemma of what I can do for the homeless.

If I were rich, I would still not be able to give the nearly 200 homeless a dollar each.  And what would that do anyway as tomorrow they would all be in need of another dollar.  There used to be 1053 homeless in Santa Barbara.  The current number has skyrocketed to 1500.  If I were rich, how would I be able to help those less fortunate in my community.

Now I am poor.  I have never been poorer.  Although I have more compassion for the homeless, I am unable to help them.  Whether rich or poor, my dilemma is I am unable to make a difference.

However, I will not let the dark cloud of doom and gloom shadow me.  When I come across someone who is homeless, I acknowledge that they are a human being.  In the past, I would look the other way or walk on the other side of the sidewalk.  For those who are hungry, I direct them to the many places in Santa Barbara that provide food.  For those who are in need of clothes, I point them to the places where they can get fresh clothes.  The designer clothes that I am wearing even as I write are all from "Care Closets"!  There was a newspaper article that listed Santa Barbara as having the best dressed homeless in California. 

If someone is mentally ill, I can invite them to join me at the Mental Wellness Center.  We would be able to have lunch together.  If they were interested, they would be able to heck out any of the support groups.  Maybe they would like to use the art room, play a game in the recreation room.  If they have musical talent, they could use the music room.  Maybe they would prefer to check their email or Facebook in the computer room.  The important thing is that I would want them to feel welcomed, invited and loved.

For those who need shelter, I am happy to inform the individual of wonderful places they can sleep.  I let them know that I was once homeless and that the staff treated me with dignity and respect.  Although homeless, they gave me a place to call "HOME"!

For those who want cigarettes, they are on their own.  Although the number one question I am asked is, "Do you have a cigarette?", I refuse to aid an unfortunate soul by helping him ruin his health and increasing his chances to die from cancer.  By not providing a cigarette, I truly am indeed helping the individual.

That is how I am trying to make a difference today.  My prayer is that God will enlighten me of other ways that I might help my unfortunate brothers and sisters.  If you know of other ways of helping, please feel free to let me know!

My Imaginary Birthday Cake

What a JOY it was to check facebook today and see exactly fifty-five birthday greetings from friends and family.  Yesterday was a very quiet day and the only one I heard from was my Mom who sent me a card in the mail.  Thanks Mom.  However, to everyone who remembered to send me a birthday greeting, I just want to thank you so very much.  It really meant a lot to me and I will treasure each and every one.  Sometimes I feel unloved and it touches the very core of my soul and being to hear from you.

Here is My Imaginary Birthday cake, I hope you will have a piece.  The cake is magical so it can be any flavor you choose.  I searched from hundreds of cakes and this is the one I chose.  Not exactly sure what that means but I will forever have a side of me which desires to be Dr. Doolittle and have the gift of being able to "Talk to the Animals"!

Thanks again for being at my cyber party!  Hope you enjoyed the cake!

Dear Lord

Do you remember what happened fifty-five years ago?

Do you remember my first cry as I entered into this world?

I was completely clueless as to what would become of my life.

Dear Lord,  I completely made a mess of the life that you had given me.  There is no need for me to tell you all the different ways that I failed.  However, that is not the reason for my prayer.

Dear Lord, I want to thank you for a new beginning.  My name is John Thomas and I have no need to harp on my former past.  You have provided me a new home in Santa Barbara.  It was not by my choice that I ended up in Santa Barbara but your divine intervention.  Santa Barbara has become a taste of heaven for me.  A wonderful paradise.  How many times have I told you that I feel closest to you when I am near the ocean?  The ocean is now my front yard.  I can walk and talk to you as I feel close to you as I soak up the sun and breathe in the fresh ocean breeze.

Dear Lord, I used to be so depressed because I was so lonely.  Living all  alone.  Now I love to create new water worlds with you in the privacy of my own place.  Now I come to the garden, not alone, but with you as I continue to plant and tend to the beautiful garden you have provided me.  You chose wonderful garments for me to wear.  Millionaires throw away clothes that I would never be able to afford.  Thanks to you and Uncle Sam,  I did not have to find the $80,000 dollars needed for my open heart surgery.  You provided doctors, nurses, therapists, social workers and a multitude number of professionals to care and tend for me for the six months prior and to the six months after my surgery.

Now I live a simple life and I try to help the homeless, feed the hungry, tend to the mentally ill and work and visit those in prison.  I had no idea that the worst years of my life would lead to the best years of my life.

Dear Lord, I know that this has nothing to do with me.  I know with all my heart and soul that this has everything to do with you.  I am truly blessed.

Dear Lord,  Thank you for everything and thank you for this special day!

I love you Lord!

Your child and friend,

John Thomas

We are created in the image of God

If you believe in the Bible than you will believe that we have been created in the image of God.  If I would have to pick only one attribute that I love most about being created in God's image, it would be that of being able to create things.

This weekend, I created the fourth water world in my home in Santa Barbara.  The first world was created for my beta in a cylinder world.  The second world was for my platys in a triangular world.  There are angel fin tetras, guppies, two swordfish, an albino catfish, an upside down catfish and a whole bunch of snails who live in a rectangular world.  My fourth world is a beautiful spherical world for my newest beta complete with a beautiful purple plant and purple gravel to match.

I wonder what world God and I will create next?

John Thomas is So Dumb...

"HOW DUMB IS HE?"  Everyone shouts.

John Thomas is So Dumb that he decided it would be a good idea to wash a bucket of rocks in his white porcelain bathtub.  Dirt, leaves, pine needles and "Only God knows" what else.  Do I need to tell you that the bathtub drain became clogged?  It took me hours to undo what it only took a few minutes to destroy.

I will never do that again.  So maybe I learned my lesson and I am not so dumb after all.

Heaven is a Wonderful Place

Living in Santa Barbara is a little like living in heaven for me.  As you gaze upon the mountains, you see mansions of millionaires and even billionaires.  The Bible says, "In my house are many mansions, if it were not so I would have told you.  I go to prepare a place for you."  In the past, I would have wanted to have one of the huge mansions that I look upon but will probably never be invited to enter.  However, I am very different now.  Today I am very content to just have a one bedroom apartment.  All that really matters is that I spend eternity in heaven with my Savior, Jesus Christ.

To no surprise to anyone, the sky would look like this!

For many people, they imagine a city of gold.

For me, whether my place is still a one bedroom apartment or as charming as this little cottage, I hope to see you there. 

Listen to Your Heart

Have you ever wondered where God lives?

Have you ever stopped listening to all the noises the world inundates us with?

Have you ever taken the time to listen to your heart?

Hopefully, you will join me in the journey to the innermost part of your heart.

It is the best journey you will ever take.

Please join me and listen to your heart.  Just Listen.

That Damn Depression Strikes Again

No matter how many medications I take, I am still a prisoner to depression.  It does not take a major catastrophe or a death of a loved one to bring me to the pit of despair.  Last week, someone stole the wheels off of my bike.  I was able to handle that because I have another bike.  However, when someone intentionally flattened one of my tires, I started spirally down that well.  One of my fish died which continued my dissent into the darkness.  Although my little female swordfish was not a loved one, I loved it just the same.  However, when  my wonderful card from my niece, Ashley Haynes went missing,  I was besides myself.  I was filled with anxiety as I panicked and searched my apartment.  I  was for certain I had left her card in the mailbox so I would not lose it.  It turns out that the postman returned Ashley's card back to Huntington College by mistake.  Hopefully, Ashley will return the returned card back to me.

There is only one thing that makes my situation worse.  When people tell me all the reasons that I should not feel sad.  PLEASE DO NOT DO THAT TO ME!  It may take me longer than most but I will be able to pull myself out of this darkness.  I always do.  In the meantime, I welcome and covet your prayers.  Thanks for listening!  I love you for that!

Today My Life is like a Box of Rice Krispies

Every bone in my body seems to "snap, crackle or pop"!

Growing old gracefully seems to be a foreign concept to my body.  One of the things I miss most about not having an income is that I am unable to afford my chiropractor.  My back, neck, hips and legs are in a great deal of pain.  My only hope is that yoga will be able to eliminate some of this pain.

So if you hear something go "snap, crackle or pop", just think of me!

From This Moment

Jolene Larsen Carroll is an incredible human being, a wonderful friend and a blessed sister in Christ.  She has the marvelous gift of being able to send me a hug from more than two thousand miles away.
Many times I feel unloved but not today.  Jolene has blessed me with a miracle.  She invited me to believe that I am loved.  I love you Jolene.

Sunday Brunch with Michael and Mya

For a number of reasons, I will never have a son.  However, God is so good to me and he has crossed Michael Z.'s path with mine.  I love Michael as if he were my very own son.  Michael Z. invited me to join his wife for brunch today.  This was the first time I had been to a Sunday brunch in more than three years.  A Champagne brunch in Santa Barbara with a friend I love as a son.  In August, they will become a family of three.  Hopefully, I will love their child as my very own grandchild.

Only God could arrange it for me to have a family and still remain single.

Truly I am a blessed man!

Starting Over

Yesterday was a rough day for me.  However, today I am starting over!  My name is John Thomas and I love living in Santa Barbara, California.  No one knows Donnie and/or all the personalities that live with him.  However, I have started life a new.

One of my friends was released from prison.  Shelly was so happy to see me.  She gave me the biggest hug.  So big it made her drunk boyfriend jealous.  Thankfully I have had training at the Alternative to Violence Project and was able to diffuse the problem before it became an issue.  In the past, I would have been fearful of the confrontation but I was so happy to be as confident as I was in a non aggressive way.  Her boyfriend even apologized to me.

As I was leaving the 99 cent store, I ran into Jacob who used to prepare breakfast with me at the transitional living facility, the Casa Esperanza.  It was such a joy to celebrate that he and I were not homeless anymore.

Later in the evening, I ran into my friend Michel Z.  No longer is he using drugs or alcohol.  He has decided to turn his life around as he now has a wife and they are both expecting a baby.  What a Joy to see this friend who once was lost, to be found and moving in a positive, forward direction.  We are going to celebrate by going to brunch tomorrow.

Having my faith and trust in God, what better way could God send me a sign than to have my friend, Jonathon cross my path again.  In the Bible, David had his friend, Jonathon.  Here in Santa Barbara, I have my friend, Jonathon.  We are going to get together next week to play chess.

The life of John Thomas is a beautiful and blessed life.  I am fully aware that my primary responsibility is to care and tend to the needs of little Donnie and all his many friends that live with him.  In the comments from the last post, you can see that I must be careful that I discern the satanic forces from the angelic ones.  Donnie no longer is able to cope with the negativity of others.  Donnie has no need to fear.  I, John Thomas am here to keep him safe and to make sure he feels loved.

"The greatest thing in all the world is just to love and be loved in return!"

Heaven or Hell

Yesterday I felt as if I was in Paradise here in Santa Barbara.

A taste of Heaven.

Satan would not stand for that at all. 

He forced Donnie to introduce Tommy to me.  Tommy wants to believe that he looks like this.

Unfortunately, he really looks like this.

Tommy wants to believe that he is young, in shape and good looking.  The truth is Tommy is old, out of shape and ugly.  Is ugly too harsh?  Not if you ask Tommy.  Tommy is the personality that is tormented by having same sex feelings and feeling convicted that he will go to hell if he acts on those feelings.  Homosexuality makes Tommy suicidal.  Satan loves to torment Tommy every moment he gets.  Satan accuses Tommy of the sins of lust and coveting.  Every time he hears someone say, "Faggot", he is overwhelmed with shame and contemplates ending his own life.  Tommy thinks that he lives in hell now.  He prays for God to bring him to heaven but his prayers are denied.  He used to believe his prayers were unanswered.  However, now he lives in the frustration that his prayers are heard but that God refuses to release him from his pain and suffering.

Someone yelled at Tommy, "Keep your faggoty hands off me or I will kill you!"

The person who said those cruel words has no idea that he already murdered Tommy.

He now is a walking corpse.  Afraid to train in mixed martial arts for fear of his sparring partner suspecting illegitimate emotions.  He longs for the man to man combat, the physical touch of another fighter, the competition of tapping out another fighter who is better than himself.

Tommy lives alone and is lost in his self made hell.  Maybe Satan does not exist at all.  Maybe Tommy created Satan to torment him in his own version of hell.  Regardless, Tommy is in an unending hell.  His fear of his feelings is a tumultuous hell.  If he commits suicide, he fears that he will spend eternity in the hell with the "eternal fire and gnashing of teeth".  Continuing to train in mixed martial arts makes Tommy live in the overwhelming fear of rejection.

My prayer is that I am able to find a way to help Tommy out of his hell and invite him into our Paradise.  One can only hope!

My neighbor, Jonathan Winters dies

LOS ANGELES (AP) — Jonathan Winters, the cherub-faced comedian whose breakneck improvisations and misfit characters inspired the likes of Robin Williams and Jim Carrey, has died. He was 87.
The Ohio native died Thursday evening at his Montecito, Calif., home of natural causes, said Joe Petro III, a longtime friend. He was surrounded by family and friends.
"He was just a great friend and I was very lucky to be able to work with him for all the years I did," said Petro, an artist and printmaker who collaborated with Winters for decades on numerous art projects. "We've lost a giant and we're really going to miss him."
Winters was a pioneer of improvisational standup comedy, with an exceptional gift for mimicry, a grab bag of eccentric personalities and a bottomless reservoir of creative energy. Facial contortions, sound effects, tall tales — all could be used in a matter of seconds to get a laugh.
"Beyond funny, He invented a new category of comedic genius," comedian Albert Brooks tweeted Friday.
On Jack Paar's television show in 1964, Winters was handed a foot-long stick and he swiftly became a fisherman, violinist, lion tamer, canoeist, U.N. diplomat, bullfighter, flutist, delusional psychiatric patient, British headmaster and Bing Crosby's golf club.
"As a kid, I always wanted to be lots of things," Winters told U.S. News & World Report in 1988. "I was a Walter Mitty type. I wanted to be in the French Foreign Legion, a detective, a doctor, a test pilot with a scarf, a fisherman who hauled in a tremendous marlin after a 12-hour fight."
The humor most often was based in reality — his characters Maude Frickert and Elwood P. Suggins, for example, were based on people Winters knew growing up in Ohio.
A devotee of Groucho Marx and Laurel and Hardy, Winters and his free-for-all brand of humor inspired Johnny Carson, Billy Crystal, Tracey Ullman and Lily Tomlin, among many others. But Williams and Carrey are his best-known followers.
Carson in particular lifted Winters' Maude Frickert character almost intact for the long-running Aunt Blabby character he portrayed on "The Tonight Show."
It was Williams, meanwhile, who helped introduce Winters to millions of new fans in 1981 as the son of Williams' goofball alien and his earthling wife in the final season of ABC's "Mork and Mindy."
The two often strayed from the script.
"The best stuff was before the cameras were on, when he was open and free to create," Williams once said. "Jonathan would just blow the doors off."
Winters' only Emmy was for best-supporting actor for playing Randy Quaid's father in the sitcom "Davis Rules" (1991). He was nominated again in 2003 as outstanding guest actor in a comedy series for an appearance on "Life With Bonnie."
He also won two Grammys: One for his work on "The Little Prince" album in 1975 and nother for his "Crank Calls" comedy album in 1996. He also won the Kennedy Center's second Mark Twain Prize for Humor in 1999, a year after Richard Pryor.
Winters was sought out in later years for his changeling voice, and he contributed to numerous cartoons and animated films. Fittingly, he played three characters in the "The Adventures of Rocky and Bullwinkle" movie in 2000.
The Internet Movie Database website credits him as the voice of Papa in the forthcoming "The Smurfs 2" film. He continued to work almost to the end of his life, and to influence new generations of comics.
"No him, no me. No MOST of us, comedy-wise," tweeted comic Patton Oswalt.
Winters had made television history in 1956, when RCA broadcast the first public demonstration of color videotape on "The Jonathan Winters Show."
The comedian quickly realized the possibilities, author David Hajdu wrote in The New York Times in 2006. He soon used video technology "to appear as two characters, bantering back and forth, seemingly in the studio at the same time. You could say he invented the video stunt."
Winters was born Nov. 11, 1925, in Dayton, Ohio. Growing up during the Depression as an only child whose parents divorced when he was 7, Winters spent a lot of time entertaining himself.
Winters, who himself battled alcoholism in his younger years, described his father as an alcoholic. But he found a comedic mentor in his mother, radio personality Alice Bahman.
"She was very fast. Whatever humor I've inherited I'd have to give credit to her," Winters told the Cincinnati Enquirer in 2000.
Winters joined the Marines at 17 and served two years in the South Pacific. He returned to study at the Dayton Art Institute, helping him develop keen observational skills. At one point, he won a talent contest (and the first prize of a watch) by doing impressions of movie stars.
After stints as a radio disc jockey and TV host in Ohio from 1950-53, he left for New York, where he found early work doing impressions of John Wayne, Cary Grant, Marx and James Cagney, among others.
One night after a show, an older man sweeping up told him he wasn't breaking any new ground by mimicking the rich or famous.
"He said, 'What's the matter with those characters in Ohio? I'll bet there are some far-out dudes that you grew up with back in Ohio,'" Winters told the Orange County Register in 1997.
Two days later, he cooked up one of his most famous characters: the hard-drinking, dirty old woman Maude Frickert, modeled in part on his own mother and an aunt.
Appearances on Paar's show and others followed and Winters soon had a following. And before long, he was struggling with depression and drinking.
"I became a robot," Winters told TV critics in 2000. "I almost lost my sense of humor ... I had a breakdown and I turned myself in (to a mental hospital). It's the hardest thing I've ever had to do."
Winters was hospitalized for eight months in the early 1960s. It's a topic he rarely addressed and never dwelled on.
"If you make a couple of hundred thousand dollars a year and you're talking to the blue-collar guy who's a farmer 200 miles south of Topeka, he's looking up and saying, 'That bastard makes (all that money) and he's crying about being a manic depressive?'" Winters said.
When he got out, there was a role as a slow-witted character waiting in the 1963 ensemble film "It's a Mad, Mad, Mad, Mad World."
"I finally opened up and realized I was in charge," Winters told PBS interviewers for 2000's "Jonathan Winters: On the Loose." ''Improvisation is about taking chances, and I was ready to take chances."
Roles in other movies followed, as did TV shows, including his own.
While show business kept Winters busy, the former art school student was also a painter and writer.
"I find painting a much slower process than comedy, where you can go a mile a minute verbally and hope to God that some of the people out there understand you," he told U.S. News and World Report in 1988. "I don't paint every day. I'm not that motivated. I don't do anything the same every day. Discipline is tough for a guy who is a rebel."
Among his books is a collection of short stories called "Winters' Tales" (1987).
"I've done for the most part pretty much what I intended — I ended up doing comedy, writing and painting," he told U.S. News. "I've had a ball. And as I get older, I just become an older kid."
Winters' wife, Eileen, died in 2009. He is survived by two children, Lucinda Winters and Jay Winters.
___
Associated Press Writers David Zelio and Robert Jablon contributed to this story


Read more: http://www.newstimes.com/news/article/Groundbreaking-improv-comic-Jonathan-Winters-dies-4430136.php#ixzz2QHAJ8Aue

Living in Paradise

Living in Santa Barbara is like living in Paradise!

As I was checking out the listings on Craigslist, I came across someone who was looking to rehome her two fish.  She was looking for someone who would adopt and love her albino catfish and her upside down catfish.  As Donnie and I were looking to create a third fish universe, we volunteered.  Not only was she happy to let us adopt her fish but she gave us over $300.00 dollars worth of an aquarium, stand, filters, heaters,  plants, decorations, fish food, and an entire plastic storage container filled with every fish product you could imagine.  What a Joy it was for us to create a new and beautiful world.

Not only did we decorate the inside of our home, we also decorated our entry way.  One of the most relaxing sounds I know of is of running water.  In our entry way, we now have a four teared illuminated stone fountain.

A garden fountain is not a a garden fountain without a garden.  With our gift card from Home Depot,
we placed two palm bushes near the fountain.  One across and the other next to the fountain.

To make the foyer complete we added a gardenia plant on the other side of the fountain.

As you walk towards our garden apartment, you feel as if you have entered into a taste of Paradise.
The reality that we received a card from Ashley Haynes on the same day reminded us what God feels when he hears our prayers.  Although we are far, far away from our niece, with her card, she is very close to our heart.  Truly this was like living in Paradise!

Memories

 

Ashley Haynes sent me a card today.  I was crying tears of Joy as she reminded me of the countless hours she and I would play Polly Pocket.  It was a card game where you had to get a matching trio to complete a Polly Pocket scene.  We played this game when she was four or five.  There was a scene of zoo animals that she and I would go back and forth trying to complete the scene.  It seemed to make no difference how many completed scenes we had as long as we had the "zoo animal" scene.  We would laugh and laugh and laugh.  Ashley, my niece, is a senior in college now.  Ashley invited me to play Polly Pocket with her again.  However, she said that she wanted me to have the "zoo animal" scene and she enclosed the three cards in the card she sent me.  I cried then and I am crying now as I type this.  This is one of my favorite memories of playing with Ashley.  I was So happy then and I am SO happy now as I remember this precious memory.

Farmer's Market

One of the best things about living in Santa Barbara is that every Tuesday is Farmer's Market!
Although I have no money to buy anything, it is wonderful to window shop and to gaze upon all the incredible organic grown fruits and vegetables.

It is also a lot of fun to watch all the people.  Most are tourists from Europe.  I love to listen to all the different languages and try to guess what country they are from.

Well, you know where to find me next Tuesday!

Graduation Day!

Completed the second phase of my training for the Alternative to Violence Project.  With a certificate in hand, I am now ready to be an asset to my community and sign up for the next phase of training.

Feels great to be focused on "Making a Difference" in my community rather than being a liability.

Hope you had a great weekend!

Alternative to Violence Project

This weekend I continue with the advanced training for The Alternative to Violence Project (AVP)!
For eight hours on Saturday and eight hours on Sunday, I will be learning how to be a facilitator in my community and within the prison system.  Many homeless individuals struggle with being incarcerated at one time or another.  Having been homeless for almost two years, I understand the pain, stigma, and hopelessness that comes along with homelessness.  Many resort to violence.  Now I have the opportunity to "give back" to the many homeless individuals that crossed my path during this difficult time in my life.

In the session today, we were asked to name someone who has inspired us.  I named Mother Teresa.  She has inspired me to be more compassionate and to show mercy to the disenfranchised.  Like my friend, Tim Page, I hope to hear Jesus say to me one day, "When I was in prison, you visited me."
Some of the lessons that I am learning are to Listen and not speak; try to understand others plight rather than to judge or try to fix; and most important of all, I am learning to love with no expectation of being loved in return.  This training has been life changing for me.

Diamonds are a Girl's Best Friend

In a Monroe Mood today!  Hope you have a wonderful weekend!

Somewhere Over the Rainbow

Guess what Donnie and I did yesterday?  We went whale watching!  We had a marvelous time!  One of the incredible sights we were able to see was two pairs of mother and calf  humpback whales.  They were breaching for us and giving us many photo opportunities.  We were blessed with a sighting of a gray whale and a sunfish basking in the sun.

We also saw two different pods of dolphins.  The trip left out of Ventura and we sailed all the way to Anacapa Island where we saw pelicans nesting, seal lions sunbathing and an untold number of different birds.

Although we did not actually see any rainbows, it was like a dream come true for us!  We were on the ocean for three and a half hours.  When we were departing, they played this song sung by IZ.

When we returned home, we were delighted to see our first flower on our Gardenia plant.

Donnie and I feel totally blessed!  We made sure to spend some time in prayer to thank God for an incredible day!  One we shall cherish for a long, long time.

Guess what Donnie is going to do today?

Donnie, guess what we are going to do today?

"Are we going to go see a movie?"  Donnie asks.

No.

"Are we going to go to the zoo?"  Donnie takes a second guess.

No but you are getting closer.

"Can you give me a clue?"  Donnie asks.

It is something you do when you are at the ocean.

Guess what Donnie is going to do today?

Christmas or Easter?

You would never know that it was Easter season around Donnie's house.  It appears much more like Christmas and Donnie is receiving so many gifts.  Yesterday, Hahn gave him this beautiful fountain.  Donnie calls the fountain "The Eternal Trinity" as the three candles never burn out and the water flows continuously.  I suggested that we use this as a prayer font and that each rock be used as a special prayer to God.  Donnie loved the idea.

Donnie was So happy this Easter

When you live with a five year old, it is always a JOY to make the holidays special.  On Saturday, we went to the pet store and created a new world.  We purchased a corner aquarium with the gift card which had been given to us from the Mental Wellness Center.  Donnie chose blue rocks as the pet shop did not have purple.  He was delighted that we were able to get "real gold fish"!  "Gold fish are orange!"  Donnie said.  Instead we adopted two gold platys.  The male Donnie named Adam and the female Eve.  He even found a plant that he calls the "Tree of Life".

Saturday night we colored Easter eggs.  Is it any surprise that Donnie's favorite egg is the one he dipped in red and blue?  He knew that those two colors made purple.

After Donnie went to bed, I hid the Easter eggs and made an Easter basket filled with chocolate bunnies, purple "Peeps", jelly beans in plastic colored eggs, assorted chocolates and the best of all, the original chocolate turtles made with chocolate, caramel and pecans.  After giving up chocolate for forty days for Lent, I must admit that I ate a little two much chocolate preparing the basket.  Even had two Easter cards from Donnie's mom that I could put in the basket.  He would be real happy to have mail on Easter.

Donnie was SO happy this Easter!  He loved looking for the hidden eggs, was thrilled to have an Easter basket, loved the cards from his Mom and loved looking at his new world.  Naturally, Easter would not be complete without attending church.  Donnie loved singing the songs he once sang with his Grandmother. 

The rest of the day was a Day of Rest!  Hope you had a Happy Easter too!