MY GARDEN

The name of this florist is MY GARDEN.  Being homeless and jobless does not mean that I can not enjoy the statues, fountains, flowers and plants of this beautiful establishment.  I hope that they do not mind that I have claimed this place as MY GARDEN too.   Hope you enjoy the beauty too!

Memorial Day Weekend - Monday

The Memorial Day Weekend would not be complete at Venice Beach without a body building competition at Muscle Beach.  Saturday there was a Sumo competition.   Sunday there was a Amateur Boxing competition.  Monday the weekend finished off with a Body building competition.  The great news for me is that all three days was completely FREE.

The miracle for me was to see answered prayer and how for four days in a row, the hungry and homeless had been fed.  It was not by the government who can not afford this expense.  It was not by the Church who has turned a blind eye to their true calling.  It was by individuals like you and me who decided to do the right thing.  Like Bono has been quoted, "It is just the right thing to do."

Like Nike says:  JUST DO IT!

Will you join me on this mission?

Memorial Day Weekend - Sunday

Usually California is known for their beautiful blondes on Venice Beach.  I was thrilled to be able to get a FREE orange t-shirt.  Gotta love the orange hair!

The same organization that was here yesterday was here today also.  I am SO thankful that people are coming together to care for the hungry and the homeless.  Keep in mind, this organization is not a church group.  The Church has failed to take care of the hungry, the homeless, the sick and the insane (sometimes possessed).  My task and goal is to make this documentary to change all that.

Memorial Day Weekend - Saturday

One of the features at the Freak Show at Venice Beach is the two headed turtle.  Sometimes I feel a lot like this turtle who struggles with doing what I should do and what Donnie wants to do.

The good news is there was an organization who set up a booth to feed the hungry.  For me, this was answered prayer as now it has been two days in a row that the hungry and homeless were fed.

"Hey, do you know what?"

"You love me just the way that I am" was my response to Vincent Dwyer's question.

How I miss my friend, my mentor Father Vincent Dwyer.

Although I know that I can still talk to him.  It just is not the same thing as having his physical presence here.

Father Vincent Dwyer was called out of the monastery to do God's work.

Although I never made it into the monastery, I believe God is calling me, John Thomas to do His work.

The reason Vince asked that question was never to focus on his love for me.  It was to focus on God's love for me.  Vince would always follow up after my response with, "Now, just imagine how much God, Your Father and Your Creator loves you?

God has healed me from alcoholism, drug use, sexual addictions, depression, loneliness, suicidal thoughts, no will to live, homosexuality and even healed me from a broken heart valve.  Presently, I am jobless and homeless but I believe that God is completing the good work that He has started with me.

I miss Vince but my love for him will be in my heart forever.

"Hey, do you  know what?"  I asked God.  If I listen very carefully, I think I can hear God say,

"I love you just the way you are!"

"Dittto!"  like from the movie, Ghost is my response.

"Hey, do you know what?"






 

Donnie loves to "Feed the Birds"

Peter Complex

This morning as the sun was coming up over the ocean, I sat warm and cozy under my sleeping bag as I watched the surfers.  Often I wonder if surfers suffer from what I  have termed as Peter Complex.  When Peter saw Jesus walking on the water, Peter jumped out of the boat and walked on the water as he went to greet Jesus.  Only when he took his eyes off of Jesus and focused on the waves did he begin to sink. 

Surfers are trying to do the same thing.  They are trying to walk on top of the water.  The difference is they are not focused on Jesus, they are focused on the wave.  These seal like swimmers dressed in their wet suits confusing sharks to believe they are fish bait are trying to ride the waves.

Often I have wondered why I have never heard of any one else walking on water.  No other disciple got out of the boat to go and greet Jesus.  They were terrified of the storm.  Peter tried but he lost his focus but Jesus rescued him.  I wonder if I saw Jesus walking on the ocean, if I would run on top of the water to greet him?  Or would I stay safe, warm and cozy under my sleeping bag and just wait for Jesus to come to shore.

He who began a good work in me will be faithful to complete it.  I feel closest to God when I am near the ocean.  The good news is that I am on the ocean now looking for Jesus to direct and guide me on the path I am to take in order to serve Him and bring Him glory.  However, maybe if I did see Jesus walking on the ocean, I hope I have the faith to not focus on the waves but to keep my eyes upon Jesus.

Feed the Birds meets Jesus feeds the 5000

It was Clyde's turn for me to take him to Venice Beach.  We were going to be "lounge lizards" together as we tried to figure out what God wants me to do about my being homeless and jobless.

First, let me give you God's answer about my being homeless.  I believe it is what God wants me to experience on this part of my journey.  Sue Molenda, Tim Page and Jennifer Zoller Hulke have all offered me to be able to stay at their place.  I choose to live on Venice Beach.  How can I fully understand the plight of the homeless if I do not live amongst them?  I feel closest to God when I am near the ocean.  What better way for me to draw nearer to God so that I can truly find out if writing and producing a documentary on the homeless is part of His plan.  People have already mentioned to me about my winning a Pulitzer Prize or an Oscar.  I do not want to fall into the temptations that Donnie Harbeck only dreams about. 

Second, is very much connected with the first.  Being jobless.  If I am to write and produce this documentary, I have tons of work ahead for me.  Here is case in point.  I worked for five years at a job I hated to pay over $70,000 dollars for rent for a townhouse in a state I hated living in.  Where did that job or that home get me.  Exactly.  Jobless and Homeless.

Now I live in my favorite place in the country and I am free to pursue God's work or A Dream of Donnie Harbeck.  Cheryl Pierce used to line up two sheets of paper.  She would tell me sometimes God's will (being one sheet of paper) and Your will (being the other sheet of paper) can line up exactly in sync, one on top of the other.  I pray and hope this is the case.  Otherwise, I shall throw this piece of paper away and start with a fresh new piece.

Here is the miracle of the day for me!

There was a small film crew on Venice Beach.  Right next to me.  Clyde and I were there first.  They built this tent set up for a crew of only 9 people.  3 security guards, 2 beautiful models, a camera man, an assistant, a director and a producer.  I asked them if they needed any extra help.  They said no.  I looked up to the heavens and said, "Thanks for closing another door for me, God!"

Returning back to Clyde, who I had left under my black sweatshit.  Clyde loves to use my sweatshirt as a cave.  I also think he is afraid of being seagull food.  He would never admit that though.  The two of us, just laid out in the sun.  Then the thought occured to me.  "Ask them when they are finished, if there is any food left, would you be able to have it?"  After wrestling in the sand over the idea with God about it.  I lost.  I ate my pride and asked.  The security guard said he would ask the producer and if he said, "Yes", the leftovers would be mine.

The shoot ended.  The security guard said, "That's the guy who asked." as he pointed to me.  The producer said whatever you want is yours.  Mind you, this was a shoot for nine.  These kind people gave me an unopened Vegetable tray with Peppercorn Ranch Dip, 3/4 of a tray of turkey and swiss rollups, and a half a tray of roast beef,turkey and swiss on croissants.  They also gave me the rest of a fruit tray.

God gave me more food than I would be able to eat in a week.

A Seagull flew over me, Clyde crawled completely under my black sweat shirt.  His shadow was much larger than the bird.  I decided to make Donnie happy by letting him dream about "Feeding the Birds" from Mary Poppins.  Not only as I started to feed the seagull, a swarm of other seagulls came by as well as a bunch of pigeons for Donnie's pleasure.  After feeding the seagulls and pigeons, I decided that my mission was to feed the homeless not the birds.  I walked away with the huge tray of turkey and swiss rollups to feed the homeless.  Leaving the other three trays, my black sweat shirt and Clyde unattended.

Big mistake, HUGE!  I was SO afraid for Clyde's life.  As I was only ten or twenty feet away, hundreds of seagulls flew out of the air and swarmed my area.  I was certain Clyde had become lunch for this mob of birds.  As I ran back, to the amuzement of many on the beach, the mob of birds like a scene from the Alfred Hitchcock movie did not fly away.  They just moved back a few feet like a bunch of vultures.  Thank God.  Clyde was safe under my black sweat shirt.  He is much smarter than I gave him credit for.  However, the tray of roast beef,turkey and swiss croissants was entirely gone.  The film crew laughed.  "A bunch of vultures they are!" the security guard chided.

I picked up everything and headed towards the homeless.  Clyde hugged to me like He has never held onto me before.  Jesus may have fed 5000 but I fed all the homeless on Venice Beach today.  As I walked by each and every homeless person, too many to number, some were not hungry, some had not eaten for a week and I offered them two sandwiches.  The miracle is that I never ran out.  Even went back and offered thirds and fourths to some. 

May God bless THIS film crew that shared with me and the homeless today!
Today the church was this film crew and me!

I thank God for the job He has given me to do!

My hope and prayer is that you will join me in this work!

Jesus found me

Jesus sent the sparrows to find me:

"I sing because I am happy, I sing because I am free,
if His eye is on the sparrow, than I know he watches me."

Jesus sent the seagulls:

Those who wait on the Lord will be lifted up on the wings of a Seagull (not eagle, a not so well known misprint in the Bible)

I feel closest to God when I am near the ocean.  Now I live touching it.

I found Jesus

I was So overwhelmed with JOY when I found this little statue of Jesus, My Shepherd, that I shed tears of JOY!  My sister Linda gave me this little statue when I was confirmed a member in the Catholic church and took my first communion.  Jesus was lost and now he is found.

What is even better is that I was lost and now I am found.  Yes, I was the lost little sheep that Jesus had to leave the other 99 in the fold to go searching for me.  As John Thomas, I am a new creation in Christ.  The old is gone.  Life is completely new for me.  I have a new identity as John Thomas.  God has allowed me to choose anywhere in the country that I wish to live.  I have chosen Venice Beach.  My vocation is to be an oblate to the monastic order and a writer.  My purpose in life is to bring God glory.  I am praying that my mission might be writing and producing a documentary entitled PROJECT: HOMELESS. 

Pray with me that God closes this door if this is not the direction He chooses me to go.  The task that I am committing myself to is a monumental God size work.  Only with God and the prayer and support from others will this project come to fruition.  Will you help me?

Note to Self

Make it your ambition to lead a quiet life, to mind your own business and to work with your hands, just as we told you, so that your daily life may win the respect of outsiders and so that you will not be dependent on anybody.

The Coming of the Lord

With this past Saturday supposedly being the last day before the rapture, I thought these words might be helpful to you:

Now, brothers and sisters, about times and dates we do not need to write to you; for you know very well that the day of the Lord will come like a thief in the night.  While people are saying, "Peace and safety," destruction will come on them suddenly, as labor pains on a pregnant woman, and they will not escape.

But you, brothers and sisters, are not in darkness so that this day should surprise you like a thief.  You are all sons and daughters of the light and sons and daughters of the day.  We do not belong to the night or to the darkness.  So then, let us be alert and self controlled, putting on faith and love as a breastplate, and the hope of salvation as a helmet.  For God did not appoint us to suffer wrath but to receive salvation through our Lord Jesus Christ.  He died for us so that, whether we are awake or asleep, we may live together with him.  Therefore, encourage one another and build each other up, just as in fact you are doing.

God's Will for You

1)  Be joyful always

2)  Pray continually

3)  Give thanks in all circumstances

For this is God's will for you in Christ Jesus.

Not a hacker

I'm stuck. I want to go to my own blogger page, but the computer will not allow me to sign out of yours.  I wonder at this insanity. I've repeatedly signed into my own google account... but every time I select "Blogger", here is your blog account.

Maybe if I restart the computer and delete the history and clear the cache...

Readers of the blog, disregard. THis is a message to the owner of the blog...  from the owner of a computer he could have used daily for his job search, had he wanted to...

Looking For Jesus

Sometimes the physical duplicates or parallels the spiritual.

When moving from Hollywood, I seem to have misplaced my little statue of Jesus holding his sheep.

Now that I have returned to Venice Beach, I seem to have lost the direction in which Christ wants me to go.  Having been in Hollywood, I tried to assisimilate my life by becoming part of the church, the community, the gym etc in Tinseltown.  There are so many questions I have.  How does one embrace being homeless and jobless?  "Be joyful always" the Word of God proclaims.  As much I as long to be obedient to that proclamation, I must be honest with you that I am rather scared.

"Pray continually" will be much easier for me.

"Give thanks for everything" will be easy as well.  Being homeless and jobless is helping me to understand the plight of thousands of others who have landed in my same position.  Being in this situation will help me to have compassion for those in similar situations. 

Those three little commands are the way to be in God's will.  Only by being in God's will am I able to do the works that God has prepared for me to do.

This documentary I believe that I am being led to do is God sized.  God must show up in numerous ways to get this work done.  I am not foolish enough to believe that I can do this on my own.

A thought just came to me.  Did you ever go to a church camp or a sports camp where they played TRUST games?  That is exactly where I am at with God today.  At camp, someone would be blindfolded and then walked up some stairs and then told to fall backward.  The fellow campers or team mates would all have been behind that person and would have caught them to keeping them from falling.  Today God is asking me to TRUST him.  It is relatively easy to trust a bunch of friends or team mates as they are physical and tangible.  It is much harder for me to trust a God who is spiritual and intangible.

I miss my little statue that my sister got me for confirmation.  If and when I find it, I will be filled with joy and rejoice.  I will hold my Savior in the palm of my hands and feel close to Him physically.

The higher calling is for me to search for God with the same tenacity I would look for my little statue.  As I continue to walk on this journey, I need to listen for that still small voice of God and when God says for me to fall backwards, I need to trust Him to catch me.  Then God will hold me in the palms of His hands and I will feel close to Him spiritually.  This will be cause for me to "Be Joyful Always" as I will have found Jesus.

HOME SWEET HOME

My search for where to live is over.  After driving over 4600 miles in the last month, I have found the place where I am going to call home.  Look at the view from my front yard.  Maybe for you, you prefer mountains or cities, meadows or surburbia.  However, for me, I feel closest to God when I am near the ocean.  Listening to the waves is like listening to God breathe for me.  They advertise Mt. Shasta in Oregon as being the place where heaven meets earth.  This may be the case for them.  For me, it is more intimate to believe that I can hear God breathing.  Often in my journey of drawing nearer to God, I find God to be silent.  As hard as I try to listen for that still small voice of God, I find myself feeling so alone at times.

Here in Venice Beach, I am SO content to listen to the waves imagining it being the inhaling and exhaling of the breath of God.  Some of the best nights sleep I have ever had has been trying to contemplate and listen to God.  As I empty all the thoughts from my mind, the only sound that I listen to is the mantra of the tide coming in and going out.  I find my breath slows down.  I find that I find rest in God himself, if only in His breath.

God has answered my prayers.  He has closed the doors to which he does not want me to venture.  The door at the Battle of the Dance has been closed.  The door at Kirk's Ferry in Brownsville, Oregon has been closed.  The door to producing The Belle of Amherst in Hollywood has been closed.  Now I contemplate and seek God's will on my producing and writing the documentary, PROJECT: HOMELESS.  Who better for God to use on this project other than a homeless and jobless person like myself!  Maybe this is another one of my delusions of grandeur?  Very well could be.  God will open or close the door for me.  I take comfort and trust God to make it very clear for me.

As I sit in comfort at the Venice Beach library, I try to think what message would God want me to give you today.  One thought is that I have been a fool to believe that I can live in this world without God.  It pangs me to face the reality that money has been my god.  I used to have a lot of money but God was very far from my heart.  Now I have no money but the peace, comfort and trust that God will provide for all my needs passes all understanding.  Listen to your heart, if it tells you that you are not doing the right thing, please do not do it.  The conflict with your mind, heart and soul is very troubling.  You will lose that peace and comfort of the intimacy with the Almighty.

God has healed me from depression, alcoholism, the use of drugs, sexual addictions, lonliness, thoughts of suicide, no will to live, and a list of other mental illnesses.  Why?  To be homeless and jobless?  God has a plan for me.  Only God knows what it is.  As soon as He lets me know, I will be certain to keep you posted.

My time with you has ended for the day.  I look forward to our meeting once again tomorrow.  Sleep well tonight knowing that I am going to have one of the best nights sleep I have ever had.  As I listen to the tide coming in and going out, I will contemplate resting with God with every breath He takes. 

I will be home.

HOME SWEET HOME!

A PURPLE TREE DAY

Today is going to be a PURPLE tree day for me! 

The Bible says that He who knows the right thing to do and does not do it, sins.

For a couple of weeks, I have been doing something in conflict with my mind and spirit.

Sometimes common sense gets in the way of  listening to our mind, heart and spirit.

This morning I have experienced an incredible peace and freedom as I moved back to Venice Beach!

Today is going to be a PURPLE tree day for me!  I hope it is for you too!

Listening to God Breathe

WHO Am I?  I am a new creation in Christ named John Thomas.

Where am I?  Today I wandered back and forth from Santa Monica Beach to Venice Beach.

Where do I feel closest to God?  I feel closest to God when I am by the ocean.

Why am I here on earth?  To bring God glory.

What am I going to do with the remainder of my days?  PROJECT: HOMELESS


After over a half a century of wandering around aimlessly in life, things are starting to fall into place.  Who would have ever thought that my becoming homeless and jobless would be the best thing to ever happen to me?  I see life with new eyes, and I am hearing with new ears.  Being by the ocean is like listening to God breathe.  Trying to draw nearer to God to find out how a homeless and jobless person can begin the task of putting a documentary together to address homelessness is the United States.  This is is not the government's problem.  The solution lies within the walls of the Church.  You and I are the church.  Please pray for how you might help me on this monumental task of ending homelessness in our nation.

Instead of decay and death...

My senses were filled with Beauty and Life!

Hollywood Forever

I took a stroll through the cemetery called Hollywood Forever.

Interestingly enough, I was not aware of death but of eternal life!

Hanging Out with the Surfers on Venice Beach

Welcome to OUR church or sometimes Life is NOT so Beautiful

The Baptists are serious about their NO drinking rule!

This is a sign they have posted on their exterior wall of the church in Hollywood.

They are serious too.  When I walked by the other day, the police were arresting two homeless people for violating all three of these rules.  Truth be told.  They were only looking for a place to sleep.

Where are we homeless suppose to go?

Life is Beautiful

Even in a concrete jungle called Hollywood, Life is Beautiful!

Yesterday I prayed for God to give me my daily bread

Here is a wonderful grotto I ask you to visit and pray.

Yesterday I prayed for God to give me my daily bread.

I was thrilled to find an out of date loaf of whole wheat bread in the church garbage.

Today I watched God answer my prayer again as the Church of the Blessed Sacrament fed hundreds of homeless in Hollywood.

My prayer now is that God move churches across the country to do the same thing.

Will you help me by getting your church to feed the homeless in your area?

When I was hungry, you gave me something to eat.

Jesus separates the sheep from the goats and says, "When I was hungry, you gave me something to eat."  Today I was one of those hungry people.  The Church of the Blessed Sacrament fed over 200 homeless people today.  This is one of the four areas in which the hungry were fed.

I felt like a king as I was served grilled steak and barbeque chicken, white rice and black beans, a fresh tossed salad and fresh mouth watering watermelon.  The volunteers from Loyola even gave us a choice of bottled water, soft drinks or fresh juice.

Tomorrow I hope to be one of the volunteers that serve the hungry.

Soon I hope to produce a film to help teach other churches to do the same.

With all my heart, I believe the church can solve the homeless situation.  I plan on dedicating the rest of my life to that task.  Will you help me?

The Church of the Blessed Sacrament

This is MY church!  The Church of the Blessed Sacrament is trying to be the solution for the homeless.  My hope is that by my producing the documentary PROJECT: HOMELESS, I and others can teach other churches how to do the same thing.  No harm in trying, right?

PROJECT: HOMELESS

The solution to Homelessness lies within the walls of the church.  I believe God has given me a mission and  a purpose to spend the rest of the days of my life!  First, I thought it was going to be by my being the Director of Operations at The Battle of the Dance in Anaheim, California.  When that fell through, I moved to Brownsville, Oregon to be the General Manager of Kirk's Ferry Dinner and Show.  My allergies were going to kill me so that closed those doors.  Maybe I could be the Producer to feature my friend in The Belle of Amherst?  Can not produce a show without a star.  Ending up homeless and jobless opened my eyes.

I once was blind but now I see.

This may be another delusion of grandeur of mine but at least it does not focus on me.  It focuses on others.  My deal with God is that he closes every door that he does not want me to wander through.  Only time will tell if this is where God wants me or not.  Truth be told.  The PURPLE TREES are a sign from God to me!

Although my heart yearns to live in Venice Beach, I am presently in Hollywood.  "Bloom where you are planted" Robert Schuller would proclaim from the pulpit.  Rather ironic coming from someone who has travelled over 4400 miles in search for where I wish to live. 

No need to reinvent the wheel.  Let me learn from the church to see what they are doing and maybe I can help the United States duplicate this in each and every city in the United States.  Monumental task?  Of course it is.  Do you think I would ask God for anything less?  LOL 

The Church of the Blessed Sacrament is MY church.  This is where I am going as it is the closest Catholic church to Sue Molenda's mansion in Hollywood.  Of over 264 friends and family on facebook, the only one to offer me a place to stay was the Molendas.  This is also a sign from God to me.  I tried Anaheim, Phoenix, and Brownsville first, but I still landed in Hollywood. 

This morning I stood in line to get FREE food again in the front of the church.  Rosa, a beautiful woman of God, invited me to have a hot lunch in the back of the church too.  As I put the groceries in my car, I was overwhelmed how little I ever helped at the food drives of former churches I had attended in the past.  Usually I was too concerned about the big productions that we were staging for the church, the singles, or  when I was working with the children from divorce or orphans.  Now as I headed to the social service center, I heard laughter coming from the far end of the church.  There were over 200 homeless waiting for lunch to be served.  The homeless form a community of their own.  Most of these individuals knew each other.  Some of these individuals have been homeless for over 20 years.

The Church of the Blessed Sacrament is a living example of what the church is called to do.

"When I was hungry, you gave me something to eat!"  Jesus said.

"When I was thirsty, you gave me something to drink."  Jesus states at a different time.

"When I was naked, you clothed me."  Jesus says as he seperates the sheep from the goats.

For most of my life, I must confess that I have been a goat.  Now I am in a new phase and I hope that I can learn how to be a lamb.  PROJECT: HOMELESS is a documentary that I hope to produce as being one looking from the inside out.  My plans are Grandiose but DREAM BIG, right?  There is no way that I will be able to do anything at all  without the help from all the churches.  I will continue to remind you that YOU and I are the church.  Hopefully, you will pray how you might partner with me to "make a difference in the world" by feeding the hungry, healing the sick, clothing the naked and getting shelter for the homeless.

Or maybe you will be like I was and turn a blind eye like I did for half a century.

My prayer is this is not the case for you.  Willl you help me?

Give Us This Day Our Daily Bread

Today I was praying the Lord's prayer in front of this grotto.  The garbage man was taking out a bunch of boxes.  I noticed a loaf of whole wheat bread sitting on top of one of the boxes.

"May I have that loaf of bread?"  I asked the garbage man.

"It's old.  It's garbage."  He said.

"Beggars can't be choosers"  I laughed.

Thank you God for providing MY daily bread.  I have plenty to share.  Amen.

Between a Rock and a Hard Place

After pounding the pavement today in search of a job, any job.  I had become a little disheartened.  I know I told God to close all the doors that He did not want me to go through.  Just did not realize that finding that one position was going to be this hard.  Just as I thought those thoughts,look what I walk by.  A beautiful flowering plant between a rock and a hard place.  In the concrete jungle of Hollywood, God showed me a little reminder to keep trusting Him with all my heart.  Lean not on my own understanding, and God will direct my path.

Trust and obey for there is no other way to be happy in Jesus but to trust and obey! I started to sing as I continued to walk back to the Molenda's Mansion.

Hello from Hollywood

Hollywood would not be complete without a picture of Marilyn Monroe!

Day Late and A Dollar Short

Since I have been unable to find a job yet, I thought I might work as a character in front of Mann's Chinese Theatre.  Guess what?  I am a day late and a dollar short.  The two characters that I wanted to portray were either Batman and/or Captain Jack Black where I would put Baby to work too.  Not only were there one set of these famous characters but two.  Three would definitely be a crowd.  Back to the drawing board.

Crucified With Christ

I have been crucified with Christ, and I no longer live , but Christ lives in me.

The life I live in the body, I live by faith in the Son of God, who loved me and gave himself for me.  I do not set aside the grace of God, for if righteousness could be gained through the law, Christ died for nothing!

Look at the life of Donnie Harbeck.  God has cured him from his alcoholism, drug problems, sexual addictions, depression, loneliness, thoughts of suicide, homosexuality, no will to live.  God even cured him from a broken valve in which he was not suppose to live past August 2009.  Why would the God of the Universe go to such an extent to heal this man and transform him into the new creation of John Thomas?

John Thomas is homeless and jobless.  John believes this is the best thing to ever happen to him!  In essence, one could say that God even healed John Thomas from blindness.

You see, I once was blind but now I see.

Remember what God said to Peter?

"Do you truly love me more than these? " Jesus Asks.

"Yes Lord," he said. "you know that I love you."

Jesus said, "Feed my lambs."

Again Jesus said, "Simon son of John, do you truly love me?"

He answered, "Yes, Lord, you know that I love you."

Jesus said, "Take care of my sheep."

The third time he said to him, "Simon, son of John, do you love me?"

Peter was hurt because Jesus asked him the third time, "Do you love me?"  He said, "Lord, you know all things, you know that I love you."

Jesus said, "Feed my sheep."

Why would the God of the Universe go to such an extent to heal me and transform me?

Maybe instead of Peter, God is talking to me today!

The homeless situation is a huge undertaking.  I do not believe it is the problem of our government.  I believe the solution is the Church.  You and I are the church.

It is for freedom that Christ has set us free.  Stand firm, then, and do not let yourselves be burdened again by a yolk of slavery.  Will you help Jesus and me "Feed His Sheep?"  I can NOT do it alone.

The Church is Trying

Presently I am living in Hollywood.  Although I am not truly homeless, I do not wish to wear out my welcome at the Molenda's.  Sue, Lisa, Melinda and Renee have been very kind to invite me into their home.  My Baptist upbringing still scars my thinking that it is inppropriate for a single man to be living in a household full of single women.  The church would call it the appearance of evil.

Today Baby and I took a walk.  We walked to the West Hollywood Presbyterian church where they were gracious enough to feed me lunch once again.  As we continued our walk, Baby and I shared the Quacker Oats granola bar.  Baby was being a pig instead of a bird and was eating more than I was.  As we walked past a heroin addict who was in bad shape, the only thing of interest to him was the HiC fruit punch.  Baby and I were glad to share.  Later on our walk, we saw Jeffrey.  Jeffrey was very happy that we gave him the Libby's cocktail franks.  I was very thirsty so I tried to share the V-8 juice but Baby hates it.  Baby only eats healthy stuff.  Probably the excess salt.  She even tried to bite me as she thought I was trying to poisen her.

Thought Baby and I might have a career as a street vendor dressed as a pirate with the new Johnny Depp movie coming out.  "Day late, dollar short" they say.  There we were, Schreck, Spiderman, Superman, Michael Jackson, and half a dozen others and the new man on the block, A pirate.  Baby did very well on the crowded sidewalks with all the commotion and vendors including the street being blocked off for the grand opening of The Hangover Part II.

"Bang" goes the backfire of a car.  Baby freaks out and starts flying around in circles.  Baby flew farther than she ever has before.  She flew all the way across the four lane blocked street and landed on some guy's back pack.

"Hey Dude, You with the backpack?"  I yelled in my old cheerleading voice.  "My bird is on your back pack!"

I thought I was in the movies where there is a freeze frame.  Everyone remains still and is quiet.  A sweet security officer unlocks the fence and allows me to walk across the block Hollywood Boulevard.  Thank God.  If the street had not been blocked,I probably would have lost Baby forever.

"Maybe you should get a lease for your bird!" the nice man with a back pack said.

"I think you are right."  I said.  He had already taken his back pack off and Baby was perched on his finger.  I was SO happy Baby had not bitten him.

As we walked back across the street, Baby and I did not say a word.  I think we were JUST both glad to be reunited again.

Baby and I went to mass today.  This is the first time we have gone to a service together.  First, we went to this amazing grotto on the church property.  I had hoped to leave her there but I was unable to ask anyone if that would be alright.  Now that she had flown off, I snuck her into the church instead.  Usually I pray for God's will to be done.  Today I begged God to control his creation and make sure Baby did not make a sqwauk.  God answered my prayer.

After mass, a half of dozen parishioners stopped by and complimented what a good bird Baby was.  One single mother with her child said, "I wish my baby were as well behaved as your bird!"  Baby flapped her wings with JOY.  "If only she knew", I thought.  I was very proud of Baby at her first service.  I slid past the priest hoping to avoid any bad situation.  This was not planning to be a habit of mine.

Baby and I went to the post office to mail some post cards.

We went through MY GARDEN!

We saw a Purple tree and these beautiful flowers on another tree.

After dropping Baby off, I returned to the Church of the Blessed Sacrament on Sunset Boulevard.  The give FREE food out from 4 pm to 6 pm today.  I got there at 3:30 pm.  I was number 251 in line.  The church was kind enough to give me a box full of food and fresh vegetables.

The rest of my day will consist of going to the library to look for jobs online.  Not a single Help Wanted sign has been posted on Hollywood, Sunset and Santa Monica.  Later in the evening, I will go work out at Bally's.

Total expenses for the day.  50 cents for post cards.  58 cents for stamps.

Experience: PRICELESS

Lesson Learned: The Church is Trying

Sue has a million and one reasons for not doing The Belle of Amherst.  I will never ask her again.  The direction that I am going in is to make a documentary about the homeless situation.  Most people do not care about the homeless.  Everyone pushes the responsibility on someone else.  I believe that the solution is the church.  YOU and I are THAT church!

PURPLE TREES

Can you believe it?  PURPLE TREES!  Did I die and go to Heaven?

The Homeless Situation

The country seems to believe that the homeless situation is the problem of the US government.

I believe the solution for the homeless is the Church.

The only reason the government has been forced to deal with the homeless is because the Church has failed to do what Jesus has called the church to do.

The Church is not a building.  The church is made up of believers.  The church is you and me.  There is not a homeless person out there who does not have family and friends who could/should help their brother or sister.  The horrific thing is the church has turned a blind eye.  You and I have chosen to be blind to the homeless situation.

I have decided to try to do something about it.  Hopefully, I will be able to make a documentary bringing to light that most of these homeless and jobless are wonderful, skilled and talented brothers and sisters that need a little help to get back on their feet.

Will you help me, help them?

Richest Man in the World

I feel like I am the richest man in the world today!

The United States is a very large country.  I have narrowed down from the fifty states to living in just one state.  California.  Now I am narrowing down the state to only five cities.  Those cities are Venice Beach, Monterey, Big Sur, Pasadena and Hollywood.  Presently I am checking out Hollywood.

This morning when I woke up, I got dressed and noticed that the transformation process to becoming an oblate (a monk who lives on the outside of the monastery) made a new transition.  Instead of putting on shoes, I put on a pair of sandles.  One of the reasons that I feel like the richest man in the world is that I put on a brand new pair of white socks.  I used to say that if I ever were rich, I would wear a pair of brand new white socks every day.  The reason that I changed from shoes to sandles is because when I walked for eleven hours yesterday, my shoes got destroyed from walking in all the water.  My socks were destroyed also.  Soon I will no longer walk with socks on either. 

As I was walking on Sunset in Hollywood, I returned to MY GARDEN.  This is an outdoor florist that has no building.  The entire parking lot/store space has been turned into a Garden of Eden with trees, flowers and plants of every color and size, fruit trees with rich ripe fruit.  I wondered which was The Tree of Life and which one was The Tree of Knowledge of Good and Evil.  One of the most beautiful places on earth and I have decided that this may be one of the places to live.  The incredible thing is the gardeners maintain MY GARDEN.

Lunch time quickly was approaching.  Thank God for the West Hollywood Presbyterian Church which fed me and many of the other jobless and homeless in our "Hood".  God blessed me with my favorite drink, V-8 juice and a white sack full of other goodies.  For my fresh fruit selection, I chose a tangerine.  I went to share my lunch with some of my other homeless freinds but they were not where they usually sit.  I hope and pray everything is okay with them.

My appointment with God is at noon today.  I walked briskly to make sure I was not late for my appointment with God.  Mass is being held at the Church of the Blessed Sacrament.  Only one can wonder how heaven could be more beautiful.  This house of God was filled with stain glassed windows, beautiful paintings and incredible sculptures and statues.

Today I will continue researching for doing a documentary on the homeless. 

Tonight I will go work out at Ballys.

Total expenses for today: $0.00

Experience:  PRICELESS

Sharing Internet Time

One of the homeless did the coolest thing.

Looking at his friend, he says, "Do you want to use this computer, man!  There are still 7 minutes left."

"Thanks bro!"

I think the homeless man just modeled Jesus for me.

I am going to do the same thing.

The Horrible Economy in which we Live

What a horrible economy in which we live.

The library hours have been slashed.

The library is now closed on Sunday and Monday.

Tuesday and Thursday the Library does not open up until 12:30 pm.

If you are homeless and jobless, when the Sunday Newspaper comes out.  Those with homes and jobs can start applying for the positions all day on Sunday and Monday.  Those who are LESS fortunate can not start the application process until 12:30 pm on Tuesday.  When I arrived at the library today, there were dozens of homeless waiting to use the Internet/Word Processing Center.  The problem is not that the homeless/jobless do not want to work.  The truth is WE do.  The problem is that most of the jobs have been filled on Monday before WE even get here on Tuesday.  You have to have a reservation to use the terminals.  You are only allowed to have two one hour reservations per day.  Most of the jobless/homeless leave frustrated and return to the streets.  Tomorrow, they will start the process all over again.

My question is that with all the excess government spending including the entire military budget (sorry for being redundant), did we NEED to cut the hours at the public librarys?

Greatest Sin in the World

Do you know what I believe the Greatest Sin in the world is?

The fact that the doors of the CHURCH are locked.  Some churches are only open one day of the week.  This morning I desired to worship my Lord and Savior in the House of the Lord.  There is a beautiful Baptist church on Selma in Hollywood.  The doors were locked.  I was asked to leave by a security guard because the church had rented out the facility to a production company.  Hopefully, it is The Color Purple Part II so I can see the inside of the church when I go to the movies.

Walking on Sunset Boulevard, I was happy to see a glorious catholic church.  Catholic churches are usually much more ornate than their protestant brothers and sisters.  I went to see what time the weekday mass was scheduled for on the outside bulletin.  It was covered over by a flyer from the inside advertising the Easter schedule.  It is May folks and now I am unable to know when I can visit with my Lord.  The stairway was chained off but I merely crawled under the chain.  The doors have no handles.  They only open from the inside.  I stood at the door and knocked.  I knocked the secret knock.  You know.  Shave and a haircut (pause) two bits.  I waited.  Someone knocked from the inside.  Twice and then opened the door.  A teacher was kind enough to inform me that mass would be at noon today.  I thanked her.  Promplty she closed and locked the door.  Need to get off the stairway before I am ticketed by the police for loitering.  There are signs on the church walls.

Continuing to look for a place to worship as it was only 8:00 am in the morning, I found the West Hollywood Presbyterian Church on Sunset Boulevard.  Although the church was locked, chained and gated.  There was a very kind man who gave me a bag lunch through the gated entryway. 

The kind man asked, " Would you like an apple, orange or lemon?"

"An orange, please!"

As I walked back up on Sunset, I shared my lunch with two other homeless people.

A few more hours and I will be able to visit my Savior.  God will be available from 12:00 noon to 1:00 pm today.

The Belle of Amherst

Two of the best days of my life have been those being homeless and sleeping on Venice Beach.  In my pursuit of finding a location in California to live, I think I have eliminated my choices to five.  I wish to live in Monterey, Big Sur, Pasadena, Venice Beach and Hollywood.

Venice Beach is the front runner.  I have always wanted to live in Venice Beach.  The problem is that I have never been able to afford living on some of the most expensive real estate in the world.  Jesus Christ never had to pay rent or a mortgage.  Now that I have been homeless, my dream has come true.  A couple of days last week, I had parked my car and took my sleeping bag and pillow and crawled under one of the life guard shacks and fell fast asleep.

There is nothing that makes me feel closer to God than to be next to the Pacific ocean.  You can have your forests, mountains, lakes, meadows but give me the ocean.  Not any ocean but the Pacific.  Listening to the waves come in and out is like listening to God breath.

"Those who wait on the Lord will be lifted up on the wings of a Seagull."  Yes, your Bible may say eagle but I must inform you that it was a misprint.  The correct translation is seagull :)  My favorite bird is to watch the seagull soar over the ocean, very similar to watching the Spirit of God hover over the seas.  The seagull will soar high above the ocean and then with seagull/eagle eye will dive bomb into the ocean and God will provide food for the bird as he provided manna for the Israelites in the desert.

As sunset came over the west coast, I would just cuddle up in my sleeping bag and commune with God. Words were not necessary.  Being in the presence of God is life changing.  Sometimes my prayer would be as simple as "Your will be done."  and I would be silent before Him.  God knew that I was there for him.  I knew that God was there for me.  As I would rest in God's love, I would fall fast asleep.  My alarm clock was the seagulls announcing that sunrise was approaching.  They did not want me to miss the oil painting that God had painted for me.  Now that I am transformed, I was willing to share it with the surfers who would run into the ocean like a bunch of seals as they would swim up and down into the ocean looking to catch the first waves.

Hollywood was never going to make my list of places to live.  The reality is that Sue Anderson Molenda is the only person to offer me a place to live.  Sue lives in Hollywood.  I now live in Hollywood.  Yesterday, I went to three different church services.  Checked out the Salvation Army church right around the block from Sue's home.  Sue, Renee and I attended their church, Ecclessia which is in the old Pacific theatre building.  In the evening, Sue, Lisa and I attended Premise.  Premise is a prayer gathering for actors in the Hollywood area.

I was very thankful that I was no longer homeless.  My prayer request was that Sue and I would be able to find work.  I believe God has answered our prayer.  Hopefully, I will be able to be the producer and Sue will be the director/actress in the one woman show, The Belle of Amherst.  Sue has done two consecutive shows at the Attic Theatre.  Please pray that we are able to perform the play about the works and life of Emily Dickinson.  It will be the perfect place for us to showcase Sue's remarkable talent.

I need to go back to Venice Beach and commune with God.  Only four words are needed.

No, not "The Belle of Amherst"

The Words, "God's will be done"

A Star is Born

A Star is Born!  Yesterday, I had the JOY and honor to be able to see Sue Anderson Molenda perform as Lady Capulet in The Tragedie of Romeo and Juliet written by William Shakespeare at The Attic Theatre in Culver City, California.
Friday was opening night!  Sue made me feel like a celebrity as she had arranged for me to be able to get a complimentary ticket!  If you get a chance, I encourage you to check her out.  The show plays on Friday and Saturday through the month of May.  If you get a chance to see her, please give me your review in the comment section of this blog.  I am certain that you will agree with me that she is one of the most talented stage actresses you have ever seen.

However, yesterday Sue became a shining Star to me.  I am no longer a homeless man. Sue has invited me to stay at her mansion in Hollywood with her three lovely daughters.  As you know, Donnie who dreams, lives in a reality of his own.  To Donnie, Sue is the Wicked Step Mother with the two daughters being Lisa and Melinda.  Recently, Donnie who struggles with being a prince or a princess, has been attending the Ball at the Battle of the Dance.  That dream turned into a nightmare and Donnie ended up being homeless and jobless.  Renee has been held hostage at home due to the demands of being a fashion designer.  Yes, Renee is Cinderella.

Yesterday, I was timed out of the library computer in Venice Beach.  Today, I rest in leisure at Sue's computer.  Sue has redefined Christianity to me.  Jesus Christ no longer needs to return.  Why?  Because Jesus Christ lives in, with and through Sue Anderson Molenda.  Sue's Mom has been praying for me.  God does not need to answer her prayers.  Why? Because Sue is living the Christ like life that we have been instructed to do.  I used to have over 265 friends on facebook.  Sue was the only friend to invite me into her home.  She gave me her bed and now sleeps on the floor of her daughters' bedroom.  Most of my Christian friends said, "I will keep you in my prayers!"  Sue did not pray at all.  Sue and her daughters did what Jesus Christ would do.  They invited me into their hearts, home and life!

This is nothing short of a miracle for me!

May God bless Sue, Lisa, Melinda and Renee!

P.S.  The reason for the delay of Jesus Christ's return.  Jesus is preparing a mansion for the Molendas for the kingdom work that they have done here on earth!

"This little light of mine, I'm gonna let it shine...
this little light of mine, I'm gonna let it shine, let it shine, let it shine!
Let it shine till Jesus comes, Molendas are gonna let it shine...
Let it shine till Jesus comes, Molendas are gonna let it shine,
I'm gonna let it shine,
ARE YOU GONNA LET IT SHINE?

A BRAND NEW LIFE

If you have been checking on a daily basis, I first would like to apologise for being away from you for so many days in a row.  Who would have ever thought that being homeless and jobless would be the best thing to ever happen to me.  For the first time ever, I have had to trust God to provide my every need.

Let me try to catch you up.

When last I wrote, I asked you to continue to join me on my journey.  As soon as I posted that blog. I left Brownsville, Oregon.  The journey continued with me going to Mt Shasta, Oregon.  The drive had me going through some of the most beautiful forests and mountains I have ever seen.  When I arrived at Mt. Shasta, it was one of the most awesome sights ever to behold.  They actually print on post cards, "Mt. Shasta - Where heaven and earth meet!"  They are right!

My quest is starting out with where I want to live.  My psychiatrist, Dr. Harold Mozak would be SO thrilled with me.  Out of the 50 states in the union, I have decided on one state.  In therapy, I was never able to choose one thing, usually four or five choices was my minimum.  The decision has been made.  I choose California.  Therefore, I left beautiful Mt. Shasta for the wonderful people in Oregon.

Where do I feel closest to God?  I feel closest to God when I am by the ocean. Pacific Ocean.  Without a map, I said a prayer and asked God to get me to Monterey.  Before you know, I am twisting and turning on this marvelous local highway crossing the mountain pass enroute for Monterey.  Monterey holds a special place in my heart as I bought a Monterey Mobile years ago to see my cousin Jeff at the foreign language institute for the military.  I still remember his final test.  He needed to handscribe 4000 of the 40,000 characters in the Chinese alphabet.  Jeff is brilliant and still is an advisor to the United States in foreign affairs.  I could tell you what he does but then I would have to kill you.  No, really!  Monterey is also where my friend Randy Sparks and I had journeyed when I was in my monastic pursuit.  God had answered my dream and my prayer.  I spent the night, literally, on the beach near the Pacific ocean.

Feeling like the male version of Goldilocks, I like Monterey a lot but it is too overcast, cold and expensive.  There is a lot of employment possibilities so I may be back.  If I were with Dr. Mozak, he would just smile.  I was at it again.  Now that I had decided on ONE state.  The next question is which beach.  "Let me check out every beach from Monterey and San Diego and I will decide, Dr. Mozak?"

Many of the beaches were easy for me to eliminate.  The next quest was for me to check out Big Sur.  Driving down highway 1 is a taste of heaven that everyone should experience at least once in their life.  God has blessed me SO much that I am unable to tell you how many times I have been up and down Highway 1.  Maybe as many times as I am up and down emotionally?  Okay, not that many.

I made a deal with God.  I told him to make it very easy for me.  Instead of opening doors, I wanted him to close every door and every window that he did not want me to explore.  After I past Carmel, I stopped by every establishment and asked if they were hiring.  I would take anything.  Full time, part time, whatever.  Before I find a place to live, I need to find employment.  Already I had checked out ever establishment in Brownsville, Crawfordsville, and Sweet Home to no avail.  After stopping by over 20 places, I was told there were no openings of any kind.  However, I did get two MAYBEs?  Although I was happy about the potential, I chided God that was not not doing what I told him to do.  No maybes!  Just one yes and the rest no's.  That's the deal.  My deal.  One of the Maybe's was for this high end art gallery's gourmet diner.  I would be the only waiter!  This high end art gallery sells some of the most beautiful things in the world!  They sell original frog art.  The prices range from $450.00 to $1500.00 dollars for a frog.  I collected turtles and was ready to drop that collection to start with my first frog.  It was priced at $750.00 dollars.  With my tips, I could buy one.  I am hopeless, I know.  Pretty sure, this is going to be a NO too.  Only because highway 1 is closed for the next 6-8 weeks because of the fall out.  The road is closed 7 miles past the monastery I am going to see if I can be an oblate.  Live at the monastery, work at the art gallery, feel close to God at what I believe is one of the most beautiful places in the world.  Again, God had answered my dream and my prayer.  I was living on the ocean at Big Sur, back at the monastery, waiting to hear from my Maybe job.

Back to the Goldilocks story, Big Sur is not going to be where I live.  I did not need to tell you.  You knew this already.  I am a slow learner.  The cool thing is that I closed the door.  God is smarter than I give him credit for.

Another secret passage way through a mountain road.  A road past the monastery I never knew existed.  Thought I was going to have to go back to Monterey.  God is the pilot on this trip.  I am merely the driver of this over 4400 mile exursion/journey in the last month.

Now on highway 101, I am headed for Studio City.  Long story short, I thought I might work at Sportsmen Lodge again.  Closed door.  Yeah.  I want to live at the ocean.

Next stop.  Hollywood.  Unable to get a hold of Sue.  My fault. Was texting wrong number.

Next stop.  Pasadena.  Fuller Seminary.  Finish my Master's?  Not sure.  Back to Hollywood.  No Sue.  Again wrong number.  My fault.

The computer at the library is going to cut me off in 5 minutes.  My one hour is up.  You are saying, "Thank You God for answered prayer."  You probably thought I would never shut up.

"Seriously?  Yes, Being homeless has been an Incerdible blessing.  Jesus never had to pay rent or a mortgage, I feel closest to God  when I am near the ocaen.

Trusting God

Today I text my sister Linda and my friend Donovan that "I am SO lost in life!  I do not know what God wants me to do."  With a few poor choices, I ended up homeless and jobless.

Then it occurred to me.  That is exactly where God wants me to be.  Truth be told I never trusted God before.  Now is the best time for me to draw closer to God as I must trust him.  It is easy to follow God when things go well for you but will you follow Jesus when things are not going well.

Brownsville, Oregon is not where God wants me to be.  I thought it was but it leaded to a dead end road for me.  A few minutes ago, I set a fleece before the Lord.  The question was whether I should stay in Brownsville or leave?  I already knew the answer but God humored me by answering my question.
Had I never come to Brownsville, I would have never known if this was the right place for me or not.

"If at first you do not succeed, try, try again." is one way to look at it.

However, I prefer, "Trust in the Lord with all your heart, and lean not on your own understanding, in all your ways acknowledge him, and he will direct your path."

The journey continues.  Only God knows where I will show up!  I hope you journey with me!

What if I Were the Only Christian You Ever Met?

First, I would want to apologize to you as I am not a very good example of a Christian.

Second, I would want you to know that if Jesus Christ can forgive a sinner like me, than there certainly  is hope for you.

Third, I would want to teach you a little song. 
Jesus loves me this I know, for the Bible tells me so,
Little ones to him belong, we are weak but he is strong.
Yes, Jesus loves me. Yes, Jesus loves me.
Yes, Jesus loves me. The Bible tells me so.

Fourth, I would want to invite you to invite Jesus Christ into your heart/life!

Last, I look forward to meeting you in heaven.  My entire life would not have been in vain as you and I would be able to celebrate for all eternity because we met here on the internet.

I am NOT a very good Christian

If there was one thing that I would want you to remember being.  It would be that I was a good Christian.

Truth be told.  I am NOT a very good Christian.  It frustrates me.

Being an over achiever, I had hoped to be in the league of Mother Teresa or St Francis.  However, you probably will never find me tending to the poorest of the poor nor will you see me taking a vow of poverty.   God may have plans of his own regarding the poor thing but most of that is my own foolish decisions that have put me in the predictament that I am in at present.  I do not blame God for my foolishness.

However, I have had no interest in serving at Pads or working in a soup kitchen.  Maybe it just Karma that has me in a place where I am in need of Pads or being fed at a soup kitchen.

What frustrates me the most is that I was a REALLY good sinner!  It came SO naturally to me.

Here it is on A Saturday night, usually I would be drunk, high or in a gay bar somewhere trolling hot young dancers.  The good news is that I am here, talking to you, trying to change my life around.  Maybe I will just give up on being a good Christian.  Maybe it is better if I just focus on being a Christian.

Besides, was it not Jesus Christ who said, "He who began a good work in you will be faithful to complete it!"  It is God's job to transform me.  The only thing I need to do?  Surrender!

Please pray for me!  I hope to celebrate in heaven with you one day!

Thank God for Julie Tabian Carlson

I spent most of the day in the traditional way of drawing closer to God by reading the Word of God and praying.  However, Jesus decided to make his presence known through my dear friend, Julie Tabian Carlson.  Thank God for Julie Tabian Carlson.

If any of you have followed this blog or any other blog of mine, you will know that I have been having my own pity party for the last couple of decades.  Somewhere in my life, I had decided that it was time for Jesus' return.  In his own words, Jesus said, "I am coming soon!"  I had decided that soon was now.  Somewhere I decided that either Jesus return or He needed to bring me home to heaven to be with him.  Thus, you can see the crux of my dilemna and plight.  Jesus is not here and I am not there.  Oh, woe is me!

Here is a text from Julie:  "Donn, You still have much to do on Earth which is what God made you for!"

Let me be honest with you!  I could have read the Bible from cover to cover.  I have.  Who cares? But no where in the Bible did I ever hear the words that I needed to hear today.  Jesus is alive and lives in my friend Julie.  Jesus wants to live in me.  Jesus wants to live in you!

The truth is God still does have much work for me to do on Earth which is what I was made for.  I have eternity to spend with Jesus and for Jesus to be with me.  There is a very short span of time in comparison to eternity that I have to do God's work here on earth.

Today Julie Tabian Carlson was Jesus Christ to me.  Tomorrow, I hope that I allow Jesus Christ to live in me.  My invitation to you is that you allow Jesus Christ to live in you.  Will you?

Sweet Home

Since Greg, Shawna and the crew are going to be at the Renaissance Fair in Irwindale, California for the next month, I thought it would be a good idea for me to find a part time job to pay for my expenses.  Brownsville is a town of 1,695 people.  Needless to say, I was unable to find a single job vacancy.  However, my name is now around town so it will be easy for them to find me if a position opens up.  Even temporary.

Feeling a little let down, I started driving to Crawfordsville.  When lo and behold, I saw two llamas on a farm.  It was as if God knew that I was going to be sad that he knew that my seeing those two fantastic animals would brighten my spirit and was just a little reminder for me to continue trusting him.  Good thing because there were no jobs in Crawfordsville either.  One of God's Angels Julie Tabian Carlson text me.  Another confirmation of God's love.

Three times is funny or so they say.  Therefore, I head to a town called Sweet Home.  Population 9,895. Hopefully, in this thriving metropolis (lol) I shall find work.  Not a chance.  But I did find a can opener for $1.75 at the Thriftway.  While I walk back to my car, a bluejay lands right on my car.  I renamed the bird a bluebird because I wanted this to be a Bluebird of Happiness in my Sweet Home.  Another of God's Angels Peter from Anaheim texts to see if I need a place to live.  Have a place to live, just looking for a job.

As I drove back to Brownsville, I am happy because I have found my priceless can opener, I had heard from two friends, God had sent a Blue bird to cheer me up and now I would see those two llamas on the ride back.  Although I return jobless, the lesson learned today is to trust God more.  God will provide.

Once back in Brownsville, I decided to take a walk to the Dari Mart to get some oranges.  Oranges are on sale for 39 cents a pound.  Wandering through the neighborhood, looking for another Bluebird, I receive two more gifts from God.  One is a text from Deb Horwedal.  The second is a purple lilac bush in full bloom.  My entire being is filled with the aroma and the presence of my Grandma Zoch.  Although it is wonderful to know that God is watching over you, there is an entirely precious and sacred gift to know that a Grandma who prayed for you everyday is still interceeding on my behalf.

Yes, as I walked back to the farm.  I was greeted by the roosters and the chickens, the horse and the cows, the barn swallows darted to and fro, even Clyde and Baby were happy to see me.  It almost seemed as if I was in a different dimension.  Maybe I am.  All I know is that I was not just in Brownsville.

I was Home Sweet Home!

We have to be the change we desire!

We have to be the change we desire!  God is in us!  God gives each of us free will to make this place a better place to live or not?  How will you live today?  Who will you live for today?

Trying to Understand God

Yesterday, I was foolish enough to try to understand world religions.

Today, my foolishness increases to trying to understand God.

Let's go back to the very beginning.  God created Adam and Eve and put them in the Garden of Eden.
It was already doomed but to increase their risk of failure, God allowed a serpent to walk about tempting whomever it please.  Long story short.  The serpent tempts Eve.  Eve tempts Adam.  Now as the parents to all mankind, we are born sinful into a fallen world.  God kicks Adam and Eve out of the Garden.  The serpent slithers around on the ground like a snake.  An angel is put on guard to prevent anyone from entering the Garden again.

Adam toils the soil.  Eve bears children with labor pains birthing Cain and Abel.  Again, long story short.  Cain and Abel grow up.  Both make sacrifices to God.  God is pleased with Abel's offering.  Cain is mad and murders Abel.

Here is my first understanding of the love of God.  Does God kill Cain for killing his brother Abel?  Of course not.  Actually, he puts a mark on Cain's head and forbids anyone to harm him.  Abel is not dead.  Abel is alive in heaven.

Move forward to the story of Abraham, Sarah and Hagar.  The first world religion is started with Father Abraham.  The Jewish faith is started with Abraham who He refers to as His friend.  Sarah doubts God's promise to provide an heir to become the chosen nation and has her husband sleep with her maid, Hagar.  Hagar births Ishmael.  Thirteen years later, God's promise comes to fruition and Issac is born.  Conflict between Hagar and Sarah results in Sarah forcing Hagar and Ishmael to flee to the desert.

Hagar and Ishmael are waiting to die in the desert.  Hagar does not pray for herself but for her son.  She begs the God of Abraham to allow Ishmael to live.  An Angel shows up to Hagar to let her know that her prayer has been answered.  Thus, the second world religion is started through Ishmael.

Here is another understanding of the love of God.  Hagar did not pray to her Egyptian gods.  She prayed to the God of Abraham.  The God of Abraham blessed her prayer by having her son be the father of many nations and a second world religion was established through his lineage.

God does not stop there.  The entire old testament points to a Savior. 
"For God so loved the world, that he gave his only begotten Son,
that whosoever believes in Him, should not perish but have everlasting life."

This really is the only thing someone needs to understand about God.  He loves you.  He loves me.

There is only one thing that God wants us to understand about ourselves.  We need to die to ourselves.

"I have been crucified in Christ, it is no longer I who live but Christ who lives in me!"

If Jesus Christ was living in each of us, there is no way that a young daughter and a wife would have had to watch their father/husband killed in cold blood.  Even if his name was Osama Bin Laden.

May the God of Abraham and the God of Ishmael have mercy on us all!

Trying to Understand World Religions

I believe in a world religion that believes in forgiveness.  I believe in a world religion that believes in loving their enemies.  I believe in a world religion that believes in letting God taking vengeance.  I live in the same country that believes as I do.

Osama Bin Laden did not.  He believes a life for a life.  So does his followers.  Are we foolish enough to believe that the world has been righted with the death of this man?  I only shudder in horror of the reprucussions that will follow the death of their beloved leader.  They have given him the title of marytr.

"Dear God, I do not understand the world in which I live anymore.  When will you return before we destroy ourselves?  As we are unable to follow and practice the words of our own religion, I implore you to give the muslims the ability to do what we are unable.  This is centuries old religion where Hagar and Ishmael were sent out to die in the desert by the wife of your chosen one Abraham.  You promised to bless that woman and child as she prayed to the God of Abraham.  Indeed you did.  One of those children were murdered.  Now it is I who beg you to stop the insanity of nation killing nation, religious killing other religious in the name of their God.  It is despicable.  Oh Lord, please hear my prayer!"