Read the Directions

Remember when you were in fifth or sixth grade and your teacher asked you to take a timed test?
You were given a piece of paper with 25 or 30 things that you needed to do in about 3 minutes.  When you turned over the piece of paper, the first thing you read was:

READ THE DIRECTIONS:  Read the test completely before starting.  Do not start the test until you have read everything.

Naturally, when I was a kid, I was freaking out that we only had three minutes to take the test.  Besides, I am a slow reader and I was usually one of the last ones to complete other tests.  Normally the one with one of the highest grades because I took the test three times but usually one of the last to complete.

The test was like this:

1)  In the bottom left hand corner of the paper, draw a circle.

2)  In the bottom left hand corner, draw a triangle inside of the circle.

3)  With a blue crayon, draw a square around the circle with the triangle inside.

There I was.  Frantically trying to figure out my left from my right.  Drawing a circle, a triangle and a blue square as fast as I can.  Looking up at the big school room clock with the seconds hand rapidly making a rotation.

When you read the last question, the statement is:  Now that you have read all of the directions, print your name in the upper right hand corner, turn your paper over and patiently wait for the three minutes to end.

My paper all marked up, I do not think I even made it to item 20.  Instead of freaking out about the test, I channeled that energy to start freaking out that I had failed this test.  This was the first test I had ever failed. 

The reason I told you this story is because I had a box of Miracle-Gro and decided to give my plants a boost.  Now that I am all grown up, I knew that I needed to read the directions.  The first direction is to mix one tablespoon with one gallon of water.  With the gallon of bottled water that I had purchased from the store, (my plants need pure water) I added the one tablespoon (Measuring Device Included), shook it up and started watering all of my indoor plants.

If you ask my friend Jerry, he will say, "He does not have a garden, he has a forest."  After watering all of my indoor plants, I sat down to eat dinner.  Looking at the Miracle-Gro box, I notice four more instructions.  The fifth direction is:  For indoor plants:  Mix one teaspoon with one gallon of water.
The first instruction was for watering cans and for outdoor plants.

I failed the test in sixth grade and I failed the test at the age of fifty-five.  Now I am freaking out that I just killed all of my plants or that my plants will miraculously grow to astronomical sizes and I will need to replant all these plants into larger containers. 

I have learned to laugh!  I ask you to laugh with me.

Moral of the Story:  Read ALL of the Directions